10 books with long titles 📚

Ciao! I hope everyone is doing good. I had a different post planned altogether as I’m behind schedule with new material, but I couldn’t resist doing this fun post after seeing areadingwritr do it this week. It’s not going to be an every Tuesday thing, but I’ll love to do a few more at some point.

The Artsy Reader’s Top Ten Tuesday ‘s theme for the week is all about Super Long Book Titles. Over the years, I’ve had my fair share of loooonngggg book titles, but most of them are probably forgotten by now. I’m going to share 10 long titles that are on my TBR (most of them are Paris-based). 

1. Love and Louis XIV: The Women in the Life of the Sun King by Antonia Fraser

Every year, I keep saying that I’ll get to this book, but I’m yet to pick it up… sadly. 

2. The 100-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared by Jonas Jonasson

Another book that’s been collecting dust on the TBR.

3. We’ll Always Have Paris: Trying and Failing to Be French by Emma Beddington

I’m actually close to reading this memoir!

4. Eiffel’s Tower and the World’s Fair: Where Buffalo Bill Beguiled Paris, the Artists Quarreled, and Thomas Edison Became a Count by Jill Jonnes

This is probably the longest title I own! 

5. The Only Street in Paris: Life on the Rue des Martyrs by Elaine Sciolino

Can’t wait to read about this iconic street!

6. The Lost King of France: How DNA Solved the Mystery of the Murdered Son of Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette by Deborah Cadbury

I was going to add this book to the wishlist when I realized that I already have it in my TBR!

7. Bright Lights Paris: Shop, Dine & Live…Parisian Style by Angie Niles

Ah, Paris, the capital of everything! I look forward to probably breezing through this book soon.

8. The knowledge of the holy: The attributes of God, their meaning in the Christian life by A.W. Tozer

I can’t wait to read this book, but I have to be in a good headspace to start.

9. Letters to a Law Student: A Guide to Studying Law at University by Nicholas J. McBride

I got this book during my law phase and although it’s cooled now, I still look forward to reading this book.

10. Learn Japanese: Discover the right approach to Japanese, forget phrases learn how to form your own sentences by Languages World

This book – and several other language books – is for special hoarding purposes.

Well, that was fun! How about you? Do you have a book with a super long title to share? Let me know in the comments.

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The Dark Academia Book Tag

Okay, so here’s what I know about dark academia: It’s the latest aesthetic to sweep social media after taking off on platforms such as Tumblr and TikTok. It draws inspiration from the classic Greek writing, architecture, and arts. Good Reads couldn’t have said it better:

Dark Academia is an aesthetic that revolves around classic literature, the pursuit of self-discovery, and a general passion for knowledge and learning.

And the inspired fashion ain’t bad either.

I’m not really into dark academia, but I was looking for a book tag to do, for it’s been a while and when I came across this tag over at Madame Writer, I decided that this tag was going to be the one as there were some pretty interesting questions in-between that caught my attention, so let’s do this!

1. What is your favourite “academia” or “dark” book + movie?

Book: I’ve had my fair share of books in this category including Dorian Gray and Secret History, but I’ll have to go with To Kill A Mockingbird. I’ve read the book twice and up to this day, I still like the book.

Movie: If I were still into movies, I’ll go with Good Will Hunting. When it comes to movies, Dead Poets Society reign supreme for DA enthusiasts.

2. What dead poet would you like to have a drink with?

The one, the only, King Solomon! His poems are beautifully crafted, timeless, and full of passion. 

3. What is your favourite painting and/or sculpture?

Painting: Claude Monet is my all-time favorite painter and one of my favorite paintings of his is the Garden at Sainte-Adresse. An art category is in the works, so I’ll talk more in depth about him at a later date.

Sculpture: My all-time favorite is Auguste Rodin’s Le Penseur (The Thinker). This thinking man is often used as an image to represent philosophy.

4. What is your favourite architectural marvel?

Here’s the thing, I marvel at many structures from both the ancient and modern world. Back then, I really marveled at the Lighthouse of Alexandria, the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, and yes, the GIGANTIC Colossus of Rhodes. Right now, I’m awed at the Château de Peyrepertuse in Aude, France. I mean, look at it!:

5. What Shakespeare play would you want to be the lead in?

Certainly not Juliet! But on a serious note, I have never gotten into Shakespeare, so I can’t answer this question. And I’m just not into plays.

6. How many languages do you speak and which language would you most like to learn?

One, and that is English. I speak little French, but I’m not serious about it. It’s the language I’ll love to learn the most, but I just can’t seem to commit.

7. What is your favourite quote (from poetry, prose, plays, etc.)?

Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth—for your love is more delightful than wine.

This is single-handedly the greatest opening line of a poem. It’s taken from Song of Solomon 1:1. I could quote other favorite lines, but I’ll just end up quoting the entire book. 

8. Which fictional character’s death is your ideal way to go?

However, the Lord sees fit to take me is the ideal way to go. I’m never shy about death, for its inevitable and when I was younger, I used to say the ideal way to go was in my sleep.

9. What university/college would you most like to attend?

I tend to bore easily in classrooms, but I don’t mind studying at the heritage-rich Université de Paris. Just the building alone is an architectural wonder by itself.

10. What is your murder weapon or murder method of choice?

I’ll skip this question for murdering someone should never be on the mind.

11. What mythology would you most like to a part of?

I remember being into Greek mythology and feeling out Norse mythology, but I find Egyptian mythology to be the most interesting.

12. If you had to do a PhD what would you choose to do it on?

I’m a history fanatic, so anything to do with history. 

13. Which fictional character would you die for?

No one. I rather die for my loved ones (John 15:13).

Rapid-Fire: Pick One

1. Leather bound or cloth bound books?

Neither.

2. Dog-earing pages or highlighting pages?

Neither.

3. Sculptures or paintings?

I prefer paintings.

4. Piano or violin?

I’ve always been drawn to piano music, but the violin is wonderful too. So, both. Sides, they make beautiful music together.

5. Films or theatre?

I wouldn’t have seen TC at a theatre, so films.

6. Poetry or prose?

Both.

7. Museums or bookshops?

Actually, lately, I prefer stationery shops. If I have to choose, I’ll go with bookshops… and I’ve always wanted to work in one.

8. Smell of books or smell of coffee/tea?

I love the smell of new books and strong coffee.

9. Fountain pen or typewriter ?

Fountain pens! I used to enjoy using them to improve my writing when I was younger. Mom was actually the one that got me into those pens. 

10. New or used books?

New. Most of the time when I’m done with them, I pass them on that’s why I’m careful not to dog-ear or highlight a book.

Well, that was something! As I’m snail-likely working on new material, I may as well publish a few filler posts and this one was definitely worth it.

If you’re up to do this challenge, feel free to and don’t forget to check out Madame Writer’s entry here: 

The Dark Academia Book Tag

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Books #170 – #171: The Picture of Alice in Wonderland

Classic Books Total: 20

A classic update.

Book #170: Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll

In order to understand a story, at times, one must go back to the original source: where in the world was the writer’s mind at the time of writing? I pose this question to Rev. Charles Lutwidge Dodgson aka Lewis Carroll. This book has been a part of many children’s lives including mine, so I decided to go back for a visit many years later as an adult. However, this time around, I was not impressed. Alice couldn’t stop talking, and I was annoyed that I had to read her boring thoughts every single time. She was also snobby and rude and lacked sensitivity towards animals. Everyone in this book was stone-cold cruel.

The story was random and all over the place and at some point, I wondered what drugs Carroll was on and could I have some, please? I bet it was some sort of hallucinogen. This book was sheer nonsense just as most of the so-call beloved classics I’ve read.  

Alice is actually based on a real-life person: Alice Liddell. I don’t know what Carroll’s fascination and attraction to the 10-year-old was. In Victorian times, everyone was off their rockers.

Tim Burton described Carroll’s stories as “drugs for children” and Wonderland as a place where “everything is slightly off, even the good people.” I agree with him. The end.

Final Verdict:

Book #171: The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde

I read this book twice: when I was in my preteen and as a young adult, so this was a 3rd reread. Yes, you read right, because back then, I thought Dorian Gray was simply all that.

Wilde is a master of painting and weaving beautiful words. It’s like an aesthetic. Dorian Gray is a beautiful yet corrupt man. Repeatedly mentioned are Gray’s blue eyes, scarlet lips, and golden hair, but he was easily manipulated because he couldn’t think for himself. What a beautiful brainless moron!

The book centers on narcissism right down to the point where Dorian was interested in an actress, Sybil Vane (Vain), a so-call love interest that wasn’t even needed for the book.

Harry or Henry or Whatever talked and talked and talked. I wanted to reach into the book and slap some sense into him. The passages were already too long and too descriptive and here’s shallow Harry or Henry or Whatever carrying on as if the book was about him. His disdain for the world and women resonated with Dorian who decides to set out to fall in love with vanity and pride. Harry or Henry or Whatever, was a snooze fest. Every word that tumbled out of his mouth made him out to be unintelligent, but it worked over Gray, who became a sort of experiment for him.

Now, I understand that Gray was supposed to be vain and horrible and all that jazz, and Harry or Henry or Whatever, just plain hateful for his wife wasn’t as beautiful as the stars at night, but the way these characters talk (Harry or Henry or Whatever who is jealous of Gray’s beauty and youth and Basil the painter who is obsessed with Gray) are downright suspicious. Basil and Harry or Henry or Whatever talked to Gray as if he was a sweet innocent little boy who’s being sexualized by these two old predators. The characters are soulless and dull for Wilde chose to focus on the senses to appeal to the audience. Wilde also enjoyed bashing women negatively that he didn’t realize his writing was so flowery he could’ve sold it in a Parisian flower market.

The book could’ve been better. Much better. A lot of people are fighting to stay forever young and eternally beautiful today and there’s always a price for it. Just look at those surgically disfigured faces looking at you from the cover of magazines. There’s a type of beauty that fascinates the world and its timeless beauty. There’s a reason why Tom Cruise is worshipped for his beauty in several parts of the world and why he’s called the “Dorian Gray of movies”. But he has fillers and plastic surgery to thank as well.

The content of this book was said to be indecent and morally wrong. It was called a work that “delights in dirtiness and confesses its delight” upon its release and the story reflects the author’s life at some point. I’m willing to read more Wilde, but I’m not particularly wild for him at the moment. To believe, I twice read and liked this drivel. 

Final Verdict:

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Reading Daphne du Maurier books for the first time

Reading is kind of slow lately… but I’m glad I’m reading no matter how slow!

Daphne du Maurier (1907-1989) was an English author and playwright. She was known for her moody, so-call romantic, and supernatural plots. Her books are said to be as timeless as Michael Jackson’s music, so here I am.

However, English literature is not exactly right up my alley, so I randomly chose 5 of this author’s books and tried not to read the synopsis or reviews. Had I known what I was getting into!

Book #168: My Cousin Rachel

I actually got to the end of this book, so yay! It was the first book I read from Du Maurier, but I was left wondering if she wrote a lot of stupid characters. Philip Ashley is probably the stupidest character I’ve ever met. He’s rich, spoiled, obsessive, and has no common sense… then the boring book ends. It just ends! But let’s play a game:

Me: Philip Ashley is so stupid.

Audience: How stupid is Philip Ashley?

Ashley is so stupid that when he discovers Rachel wastes money like tomorrow never comes, he actually gives her a great allowance to squander some more. When it gets out of hand, this numb skull gifts her his estate and inheritance. Also, all the clues were given to Stupid Ashley where it concerns the killing of his beloved uncle, but the fool ignored all the signs pertaining to the solving of the mystery. He’s so stupid!

Rachel is quite the stupid character, too, and prettily stereotyped and all.

It was a dull classic with a meh predictable mystery for a highly acclaimed novel. I didn’t enjoy the writing style, the pacing is atrocious, the ending was rushed faster than Usain Bolt could claim gold, and I disliked the setting. Not my cup of coffee. Overall, I wasted time reading this book when I could’ve been reading…

Book #169: …Rebecca

Where do I start? I actually dislike books in which the character/s doesn’t have a name… especially the main one. It’s quite annoying. The main character is dull, boring, and stupid just as Philip Ashley. Perhaps, even stupider and more annoying. Ooh, look at me, I have no name, therefore, I am intriguing and mysterious. Wrong, Nameless! You married a man that treats you like a child. What’s so good about that?

As for Maxi, murder is never the answer. No matter how wrong someone did you, you don’t go around killing people. Books like these are so off-putting. Plus, the author thinks it’s okay to describe every single flower/tree that is encountered and that alone can take up to 4 pages. 

It was a snooze fest and I couldn’t stay for the end. Nameless had no name, and it’s good that her parents didn’t name her, for they quickly figured out that their baby girl would grow up to have no personality.

After reading this book, I didn’t know how to feel to continue with her work for I disliked everything from the writing to the characters in this one. Tell me, Antoine, how am I supposed to feel?

The Others

Well, I didn’t really get anywhere with the other 3 books to be honest. I couldn’t get pass how horrible Joss Merlyn was in Jamaica Inn. I also couldn’t believe how stupid the protagonist Mary Yellan appeared. She witnessed at first-hand how terrible her uncle Joss is to her aunt Patience (The irony isn’t lost here regarding my patience with this author’s work) and still managed to stay. However, I didn’t stay for another second.

Giving this author a 4th chance, I turned to The House on the Strand, yawned and put it down as it suddenly dawned on me: Life is too short to read boring books.

As for Frenchman’s Creek, I chose it for two things: the beautiful cover and Frenchmen (duh!), but that was before I discovered how actually boring this author’s work was. I didn’t get anywhere with this book, but I put it down for two things: a grown married woman committing adultery with a pirate and the usage of the Lord’s Name in vain was overbearing. I don’t know if every 19th century spoiled aristocrat dreamt of escaping marriage to have affairs with dashing French pirates that read poetry (of course, of course, see how the Frenchman is typically, beautifully, and romantically stereotyped!), but this is not the adventurous trip I signed up for.

Overall:

Daphne Du Maurier is not my cup of coffee. Her writing sometimes fell flat and I did not get a sense of that glowing sophistication that’s always associated with her writing. Most, if not all of her work were too wordy and descriptive. And ALL of her characters were stupid. They lacked common sense and book sense; they were all pumped full of nonsense. Du Maurier books are torturing devices and I’m glad this ride is over for I’m…

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Books #165 – #167: French classics hit a high mark!

I live for Spring! 🌞🌞

Classic Books Total: 15

Finally, I am getting somewhere with the classics! 

Book #165: Le Petit Prince by ‎Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

This book is said to be the world’s most beloved children’s book. It was written in 1943 and has since sold about 140 million hard copies… 20 million more than Harry Potter and the Something Stone making it the bestselling story. But does it live up to its standards?

I love the illustrations in this book by the author! This children’s book was written for adults with the main protagonist being a beautiful golden-haired child. It’s like anime for most anime are actually for adults. Anyways, this book was meant for adults to dig up nostalgia for the comforts of childhood that they know they can never go back to. It’s a salute to childhood. 

French literature are hitting all the right spots at the moment even more so than the British and Russian ones I’ve attempted. Had I not given up French for the 1,994th time, I would’ve appreciated the deliciousness of the sweet language even more when it came to reading this book.

However, I cannot give this book five cups of steaming coffee. I find it to drag in some areas. I’ll like to think that the story actually revolved around a pilot that crashed his plane in the desert and hallucinated about the alien prince. That’s why the prince had to “die” for when the pilot finally finds a well and hydrates, the royal hallucination fades away. On the other hand, we spend too much time focusing on the wrong things and not enough time enjoying life, the little things… and I appreciate this message. And I do like that scarf. It’s as golden as the little prince’s hair and I’ll like to have one.

As an adult, if we don’t “get it”, it’s our own fault for children are the only ones that sees what matters seem to be the overall attitude of this book. But growing up is good. We’re even told to put away childish things (1 Corinthians 13:11) so the romantic obsession with being a child never sits well with me. 

On ne voit bien qu’avec le cœur.

Final Verdict:

Book #166: Around the World in Eighty Days by Jules Verne

This book read as if someone sat at home and researched all geographical locations for the various settings without actually leaving home. And what do you know? Mr. Verne is actually THAT guy! In the story, Victorian gentleman Phileas Fogg wagers half of his fortune on a proposition that he can travel around the world in 80 days. His French valet, Jean Passepartout accompanies him and to be honest, Passepartout is the only character that made me want to see this adventure to the end. The Frenchman was full of character, pumped with personality, filled with excitement, came with a great background (he was a firefighter, a singer, a gymnast, a circus performer etc.), and was the real hero of this story. He isn’t afraid to try new things, and he apologizes whenever he is in the wrong. He is kind, fun and brave. I love everything about him!

He is the true MVP. I mean, he rescued a woman from her deathly demise and helped saved people on a train. What did Fogg do? As for Aouda, she spends the entire story doing what any damsel does best: crying at every womanly opportunity. *sighs*

Vehicles used to travel the world in this story were steamers, railways, carriages, yachts, trading vessels, sledges, and elephants. It was a good story and a wonderful adventure although at times it was a bit boring, yet somehow managed to pick up speed at the end. 

This book was written in 1873. I actually read this book to my youngest sister, and she thought it dragged in some areas and was a bit boring as well. Overall, her favorite character was Passepartout, and she rates it a 3. She’s too kind. Well, actually, she’s not.

Final Verdict:

Book #167: Charlotte’s Web by E. B. White

Fern lives on a farm and wanted to do something noble by trying to save the runt of a litter of newborn piglets. She stopped her father from killing Wilbur, but she’s a hypocrite for she eats bacon for breakfast. Why didn’t she try to save the other pigs from becoming bacon? What was so special about Wilbur that he was to be saved from turning into bacon? Apparently, Fern has special Doolittle powers as she can hear the animals talk. But I want to make this about the web spinner because I still love her.

Charlotte was my favorite character overall. Where Wilbur was whiny and self-absorbed, Charlotte was selfless, humble, willing, friendly, and outgoing. I always thought spiders to be fascinating, but their short lifespan is also a reminder to us: life is fleeting (Psalm 39:4-5). The gray spider died alone on deserted Fair Grounds after Wilbur got a special prize at the Fair and the author couldn’t have said it better: 

She never moved again.

The Fair Grounds were soon deserted. The sheds and buildings were empty and forlorn. The infield was littered with bottles and trash. Nobody, of the hundreds of people that had visited the Fair, knew that a grey spider had played the most important of all. No one was with her when she died.

Keep in mind that this is a children’s book, but this was some of the best writing in this book!

When I was younger, I didn’t get why Charlotte had to die. However, she dies because her short life-cycle as a spider is completed. Had it not been for Charlotte’s intervention, Wilbur the Runt’s life would’ve been shortened. Just as many classics, this story paints a biblical portrait. Charlotte A. Cavatica paints a picture of Christ. Yes, you heard right. Wilbur was born a pig (sinner) and he is destined to die. Charlotte comes on the scene and promises to save Wilbur’s life despite the fact that she’s expecting 514 babies! Whiny Wilbur can’t do anything for her, but she spends her short life here on earth saving the pig.

Wilbur’s like…

And Charlotte’s like…

Charlotte is intelligent and very skillful at writing words in her web. The girl’s vocabulary is also off the chain. However, she uses the lowlife Templeton (a rat) to bring her words that’ll save Whiny. Charlotte wrote “terrific” and “radiant”, but it was the word “humble” that’ll eventually bring salvation to Whiny. Charlotte is also above everyone else meaning that she spins her webs in high places so it’s safe to say that help certainly came from above.

When Christ was here on earth for a short time, He did not spend it selfishly. He humbly served others. Even while He was nailed to the cross for us, He could’ve said “Forget it, I’m out”, but He loved us too much to even go back hence why we have beautiful salvation. It’s because of this allegory, the story gets the rating below. By making friends with Jesus, we can enjoy a beautiful relationship with Him and banish our fears. 

Final Verdict:

Other classics I’ve read, but didn’t bother to review were:

I found “The Old Man and the Sea” to be quite boring. Like, just throw the fish back in! I did not find anything sensible or interesting in this book. He kept saying “I wish the boy were here” and that alone made me want to set the book on fire. 

“Siddhartha” was simply pretentious babble. 

I hated the “Pinocchio”! He’s a heartless, lying ungrateful bastard, but what else do I expect from a wooden “boy”? This book was too cruel and violent and certainly not for children.

As for “The Railway Children”, let’s just say that it was meh!

 

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Books #162 – #164: Christian lit

These reviews might be shortish… 

Book #162: Mi Casa Uptown: Learning to Love Again by Rich Pérez

The book is part memoir, part sermon; a good blend of uptown and faith, but in all honesty, I couldn’t bring myself to love it. I partially liked the book for I like a few of the messages, but I didn’t like that lyrically or musically, Mary was compared to the likes of Kendrick Lamar. What does Lamar spiritually and positively bring to the table? Yes, I might be petty, but I didn’t like it. The author loves his city so much that he’ll have a hard time believing that God would want to call him away to another city. 🙄

Final Verdict:

Book #163: The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis

This book was first published in 1942. It’s a Christian Apologetic novel that has been dedicated to Lewis’ then good friend, J.R.R. Tolkien. What even is the purpose of this partially self-help, satire book? This book consists of 31 letters and in the very first one, we see Screwtape advising his nephew Wormwood (named after a star in Revelation) on how to tempt his human, “the Patient” into sin and hell.

The bottom line is that Lewis gives us a very black and white view of right and wrong. Whatever we think is good is Christian-based and whatever we think is bad is anti-Christian. Christians think deeply, but non-Christians don’t? War hurts people, but it’s better to die young than to live to 70 as a non-believer? 

This is exactly the kind of book that can cause non-believers to run for the hills. The fear tactics employed in this book! The smugness that clung to the pages. I felt like I went to a sanctimonious church service and the preacher thinks that he’ll be a whole lotta funny to impersonate a devilish figure. He wanted to be funny without being preachy, but it didn’t work. 

Although this was satire, meaning that it was supposed to be funny, there was nothing to laugh about for it was too arrogant. Doing the Lord’s work is not a joke and this reverse Psychology of how to stay close to Christianity was not effective. Lewis said that he didn’t enjoy writing this book – I didn’t enjoy reading it – and he spent nights awake worried about this book. Well, one look at Ephesians 5:11 would’ve halt his anxiety and insomnia, and put a stop to writing this book. 

Not because a lot of Christians like it, doesn’t mean I have to like it. 

Final Verdict:

Book #164: Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

I thought this book would’ve been redemptive from the Screwtape show, but alas! I was wrong. This book was adapted from a series of BBC radio talks between 1941 and 1944. It should’ve stayed on the radio. 

He calls Matthew 24:34 the most embarrassing verse in the Bible because: “Say what you like,’ we shall be told, ‘the apocalyptic beliefs of the first Christians have been proved to be false. It is clear from the New Testament that they all expected the Second Coming in their own lifetime. And, worse still, they had a reason, and one which you will find very embarrassing. Their Master had told them so. He shared, and indeed created, their delusion. He said in so many words, “this generation shall not pass till all these things be done.” And he was wrong. He clearly knew no more about the end of the world than anyone else.’ It is certainly the most embarrassing verse in the Bible. Yet how teasing, also, that within fourteen words of it should come the statement ‘But of that day and that hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels which are in heaven, neither the Son, but the Father.’ The one exhibition of error and the one confession of ignorance.”

Give. Me. A. Break! Lewis was in the wrong, not Jesus. Lewis probably didn’t understand prophesy when he called this verse embarrassing. Jesus wasn’t even talking about the Second Coming. This was Jesus’ most prophetic message concerning the end of the world. Where it concerns His Second Coming, Jesus addresses what we should do (watch) for no one knows the appointed time of His glorious Coming (Matthew 24:36-51).

After many so-call believers read this book, they flocked to atheism because they were looking for a sad excuse albeit a pathetic one to turn their backs on God Who gave them the gift of life. I’m a Christian and after reading this so-call Christian book, I’ll continue to stick with God for He is my EVERYTHING. I have no excuse to turn my back on Him. I don’t need any convincing.

C.S. Lewis comes across as pompous and after reading two of his books, I’ve come to the decision that they’re not my cup of coffee. If I do come across any more of his books such as these in my TBR, I’ll get rid of them. Lewis is canceled. 

Final Verdict:

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Books #158 – #161: So-call children’s classics

Yes, gurl, twirl, turn, pose, live your best life, werk! Oops, I forgot where I was. Wrong place for this.

Classic Books 4-7

Somewhere along the road, I took the liberty to also read a few children’s classics that I’ve never read before and a reread. 

Book #158: Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss

Top Promise: This Dr. Seuss classic starring Sam-I-Am will have readers of all ages craving Green Eggs and Ham!

Here’s the thing, I’ve never read any books from this fake doctor and decided to give one of his most popular books a chance. I was left disappointed by this travesty. Sam I Am is probably the most obnoxious thing I’ve ever come across. He’s vile and nasty when it comes to forcing his disgusting food upon others. Learn to respect others’ opinions when it comes to food!

via food.com

The book didn’t make sense and it was really boring. Bottom line message: if you keep on pressuring and insisting, they’ll eventually say yes. This is not a great message for children. 

Yuck! I don’t care if its name is Sam, and he’ll eat it in a boat, with a goat in a very green coat, no second serving for me.

Final Verdict:

Book #159: The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein

Fun Fact: This book was banned from a public library in Colorado in 1988 because it was deemed too sexist as some readers believed that the young protagonist continually took from the tree without ever giving anything in return.

And in a way, they’re right… just not about the sexist thing. We can look at this book from several points of view, but I dislike it because it’s a horrible and depressing story for children. The Bible tells us that it’s better to give than to receive (Acts 20:35), but THIS  kind of giving is inexcusable. The tree loves the boy and is at its happiest whenever she gives, gives, gives! This crazy giving is not self-sacrificial, but rather vile. Vile that the tree can’t learn to say no at times because it makes the thankless boy even greedier. Vile that he took all of her fruits, branches, and trunk until the stump alone remained. Vile that it’s implied that when someone loves you it’s okay to take advantage of them for all that you want/need for they’re always going to be there for you.

This one-sided love is vile.

I know I can look at this story from so many points of view, but from a child’s point of view, what message are they receiving? Most of them are going to cry over how unfair it was for the dead tree anyway. 

Final Verdict:

Book #160: Eloise by Kay Thompson 

There is no better way to say this and believe me, I tried to come up with better words, but that’ll be sugarcoating it, so that disclaimer of sorts out of the way: I HATE THIS BOOK!!

I knew I was going to dislike this book from the cover at how the spoiled ugly twerp – yes, I called a child ugly, deal with it, but she’s ugly inside-out – was climbing to scrawl her name on the mirror. Here are some things I STRONGLY dislike about this book:

^ The brat is 6, rich and automatically entitled. Her hobbies include hitting adults, drawing on the hotel walls, and bending over to show her knickers to everyone. She looks as untidy as her room.

^ Where are the brat’s parents? Her mother is across the world meeting important people (probably in Tahiti as I write this) and her father is never mentioned.

^ I feel as if she abuses her pets. She has a dog and a turtle. Those poor, poor animals!

^ The only person kind of tolerable in this story is the English nanny and Eloise enjoys making fun of her accent. What am I talking? The world enjoys making fun of the English accent for some sad reason.

^ I get it. I do. Her mother is rich and has no time for her, so she’s entrusted to a nanny as do most rich brats, but I can’t feel sympathy for her. Mama abandons her at the plaza to go on extravagant trips and to have an affair with her lawyer. Or maybe the poor lawyer is the brat’s father. I don’t care at this point.

^ And calling the name of the Lord in vain after picking up this trait from the English nanny? Oh, little twerp, no! This idiot gets in people’s way all the time and what is the she-devil doing in the men’s room?! 

^ Every time the twerp mentions her name, she practically screams it: ELOISE. Eew! This child is always around adults, mostly males, and yes, I am insinuating. Some of these men are creeps. I see you, Philipi. Creepy French tutoring pervert with a garter.

^ The twerp’s favorite word? Charge it. Entitled sad stupid brat.

^ I do not need to see a naked child!

^ Nanny smokes and drinks while the twerp watches TV with a parasol (in case of a glare) and binoculars.

For those saying that the thing is just a child, being 6 is no excuse to hit people, destroy things and call the Lord’s Name in vain. Solomon tells us so in Proverbs 20:11. This book is not okay for children to read and the subtle sexual references didn’t go unnoticed.

Final Verdict:

Book #161: Madeline by Ludwig Bemelmans

This line: “The smallest one was Madeline…” All of them looked the same size in the same two straight lines for me. I recall liking this book at first read when I was young, but now… erm, I love the rhyming and I love Miss Clavel for she’s patient, sweet, and kind. I don’t get what is it with children authors showing little girls in their underwear, but it’s annoying.

And here’s something you don’t hear from me often, I still like this little treasure, but what was so special about Madeline anyway? All she had was an appendix removed.

Final Verdict:

If I make reading unfun, I don’t apologize. I have no reason to sugarcoat things not even for a children’s book.

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My reading so far…

And the TBR continues to go down, down, down! YAY! This calls for a confetti celebration!

Expectation vs…

But there’s still so MANY books to go! 🙄

…reality.

I’m currently on my 38th book of the year as I write this, and I’ve realized that books are becoming even more meaningless and distasteful, so much, that I’ve been lowering my expectations with every book I choose to read. In this way, I won’t be totally disappointed if the book turns out to be boring or just didn’t quite live up to its gloating standards.

As for the classic challenge that I’m currently doing, well, let’s just say that I haven’t read as many classics as I would’ve liked to (as yet), but I’ll devote a month or two for that sometime just to get them out of the way and out of my life.

So far…

Books I enjoyed:

Books I didn’t enjoy:

Murder, Handcrafted (Amish Quilt Shop Mystery Book 5) by Isabella Alan

Amish quilt shop owner Angie Braddock solves mysteries and whines a lot! She’s not Amish, but her best friend is, and almost every chapter, she reminds readers about this and seems to subtly poke fun at Amish clothes and culture. I’m glad to get rid of this cozy mystery from my TBR. 

The Wife Between Us by Greer Hendricks and Sarah Pekkanen

Reviewers RAVED about the cleverness of this book, but it was all over-hyped, for there was nothing clever, new, or original about this story. I unraveled the so-call “you won’t see it coming twist” from the very first page and the other one as soon as Emma stepped into the picture, so I don’t understand the glowing and high-as-the-mountain reviews for this book. The entire book is a joke.

All of This Is True by Lygia Day Peñaflor

All of this is stupid, irrelevant, pretentious, poorly executed, bland, and downright boring. 

Books I revisited:

Books I DNF’ed:

#Prettyboy Must Die by Kimberly Reid

This so-call pretty boy CIA agent didn’t do it for me. He spends the majority of the story being sexist, and he’s a proper right arrogant jerk that looks down on everyone. He spends almost every chapter talking about his so-call good looks and whining. I have a strong dislike for whiny protagonists. I had to put this book down for many reasons that if I were to go into them, it’ll end up being a full review and I don’t want a reminder of why I STRONGLY disliked this drivel.

When it comes to saving the world, I’d rather leave my life in another pretty boy’s hands: Ethan Hunt’s. 

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Book #157: The Recordsetter Book of World Records

This book can safely be called ‘Humans Doing Foolish Things for 15 Minutes of Fame’.

I mentioned this book back then in a 2018 book haul and I just got around to it. I got it for only $10 at my favorite bookstore. After reading this book, I’m glad that I didn’t pay the full $101 for it. 

This book falls under nine categories – The Creative Arts, Food & Drink, Sports & Games, Science & Technology, Money & Style, Groups, Visionaries, Earth & Environment, and The Human Body. It gets useless from the very first so-call record: Most Polaroid Shakes in 1 Minute. Why? Why would I waste my time trying to see how fast I can shake a picture in a minute?

Here are some other “records” I found over the top or just plain silly:

* Highest Tap Dance: Heather O’Neal, a travel guide, actually went to Mount Everest (17, 598 feet) just to tap dance. I love tap dancing, but I am not climbing any mountain just to do so. I’d rather tap dance on top of a table.

* Most Times Smiling While Listening to “Beat It”: Someone smiled 302 times to this song and I’m here wondering, “How does someone even smile for this song?” It’s not even a feel-good song! What about “Librarian Girl” or “Fly Away”? Those are beautiful songs and I can see myself smiling along to them. Also, someone thought that putting on socks (57 in total for the crazy record) while listening to “Beat It” was a fantastic idea.

* Slowest Time to Eat a Bowl of Cereal: Why? Who wants to sit for 22 minutes, 47.4 seconds just to eat a bowl of wheat that could take up to 2 minutes at least?

* Most Pizza Slice Face Slaps in 15 Seconds: Attention seeker loves playing with food so much that she got someone to slap her with a slice of pizza 210 times on the face. Did she not hear the saying about playing with food?

* Most Trivial Pursuit Questions Answered Incorrectly in 1 Minute: Pure ignorance! I didn’t mind if he was trying, but he was deliberately sprouting stupid things. For example, he answered lipstick for the most popular crop in the U.S. home vegetable gardens. 

* Most Images of “Uncle Jesse” Viewed on a Web Browser at Once: I don’t know what’s people’s fascination with this character, but to view 92 photos in one sitting? I have better things to do with my time than to watch images of pervert Jesse.

* Fastest Time to Direct Twenty Insults at a Fire Hydrant: She clocked in at 15.49 seconds. Hello, looney bin! Although I wonder if the hydrant could’ve spoken, what its insults at her would’ve been like. Hmm, we’ll never know. 

* Largest Group of People Pretending to be Sea Otters: 10 loonies.

* Most Times Slapping Someone in the Face in 1 Minute: 660 times. Axel slapped his brother Petter this many times as the mom stood at the back of the room giggling because it’s the funniest thing she has ever seen in her entire life. 

Overall, this book shows how stupid, desperate, and just sad some people can be just to get their name in neon lights for 15 minutes.

Final Verdict:

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20 Books I want to read in 2020! 📚

This should’ve been posted since last month, but today’s the 20th, so hey! In no particular order, these are the books I hope to read this year:

1. The Three Musketeers by Alexandre Dumas

For those of you that read this blog, no explanation is needed. This was my first literature book and the book that made a Francophile out of me. I’m not sure if I’ll get to this book before 2020, but the year’s still young and I’m curious to see if I still like the book… although I don’t think it’ll be a 5-star book anymore.

2. The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway

This book was only recommended to me 1,000 times. I might’ve exaggerated, but many bookworms have recommended it, so I put it on the list. I don’t think I’ve ever read anything from EH, so this short novel should be the first. 

3. 1001 Books You Must Read Before You Die by Peter Boxall

1001? I’m certain that I haven’t read 90% of the books in there and if I did, I probably strongly disliked them. I love lists, but don’t tell me what to do before I die. However, I’m curious to see how bias this complied list is.

4. Paris Was Ours by Penelope Rowlands

32 writers share their observations and revelations about the world’s most romantic city. I’m naturally intrigued by anything Paris, so this collection of memoirs should hit the spot.

5. Khu: A Tale of Ancient Egypt by Jocelyn Murray

I got this book for two things: the cover and the location. I honestly have no idea what the story is about so it’ll be a surprise read.

6. Napoleon by Andrew Roberts

This man! In 1804, Napoleon declared himself emperor for life. He is one of history’s greatest military leaders and although he won many battles, the defeat at Waterloo probably haunted him to death. When simulations are run today, they show the French winning, so he had no right to lose. However, like Nebuchadnezzar and many other heads of state over the years, they needed to learn WHO really is in charge. 

7. Love and Louis XIV by Antonia Fraser

This man! I’ve been trying to read this book for so many years now, but I keep putting it off. Louis XIV is fascinating, but I am more intrigued by the way he handled his crown and put France on the map. I’m actually looking forward to reading the detailed part of this Sun King’s reign.

8. Complete Stories and Poems of Edgar Allan Poe

I am only familiar with a few works from this man that is said to be a genius and one of the most influential writers in American literary history. I recall “The Tell-Tale Heart” because it was one of the first short stories I had to read for a writing class and also in Spanish. Then there is “Annabel Lee” because I listened to Matthew Gray Gubler read it with such emotion. EAP sounds like an acquired taste, so I’m quite curious to see if it’s a taste that I’ll enjoy.

9. The Knowledge of the Holy by A.W. Tozer

I don’t normally chase after Christian Literature, but it’s A.W. Tozer. This book focuses on God’s character throughout and I can’t wait to get into it.

10. Akhenaten, Dweller in Truth by Naguib Mahfouz 

I’ve had this book on my TBR for the longest while, and I am hoping that this is the year that I can finally get this Sun King off it. When I came across it, I had to remind myself that this is a novel and not a history book about the heretic King.

11. The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas

I have no idea as to how I’ve never read this book in my teenage years. Absolutely no idea! Inspired by a real-life case of wrongful imprisonment, the protagonist Edmond Dantès appears to capture so many hearts, that I am hoping he can live up to the hype when I get into this book. 

12. How the French Invented Love by Marilyn Yalom

When this book first came out – I think it was 2012 – I couldn’t wait to put my hands on it. Then I got it and I dumped it into the ever-growing pile of TBR and forgot all about it… until now. The French didn’t invent love, God did, but the French are so devoted to the pleasures of love, I can’t even stereotype it. Throughout centuries, the French have been exemplary when it comes to showing affection and it’s been recorded in their movies and printed in their literature, but the question is: are they truly the world’s greatest lovers? Eh, anybody can love. This book focuses on love through the eyes of French culture and literature.

13. Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy

Here’s the thing: I tried reading this book waaaayyy back and I just couldn’t get into it so when I came across it in my TBR, the first thought was to throw it out, but I relented because I believe in second chances. I also couldn’t get into the movie because Keira Knightley does nothing for me. Neither do Jude Law, or Matthew Macfadyen or any of the actors for that matter. The book was first published in 1878 and many writers consider it to the greatest work of literature ever. 

14. A House for Mr. Biswas by V.S. Naipaul

I could never get into books from Caribbean authors for we tend not to see eye to eye. V.S. Naipaul fits perfectly into this category and that’s why I stayed away from reading any work of his for so long, but now, the time has come for that moment of truth, so I really hope to get around to this one before the year ends. 

15. Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

I have no idea what this book is about, I just want to read it, although I didn’t like the last book I read from this author. 

16. The Diving Bell and the Butterfly by Jean-Dominique Bauby

This memoir describes Jean-Dominique Bauby’s life before and after suffering a massive stroke that left him with locked-in syndrome. The entire book was dictated, letter by letter, by the blinking of his left eye. He died two days later after the publication of his book. I look forward to actually reading this book.

17. The Romanov Sisters by Helen Rappaport

Their story is a tragic one. This book is a look at the last royal family of Russia and I look forward to seeing how Rappaport painted these girls’ portraits.

18. Alexander the Great by Philip Freeman

This warrior needs no introduction, but I’ve had this book on my TBR for too long and it’s time to finally get over it.

19. 1984 by George Orwell

This book mirrors a lot of what’s happening in the world today. Written in 1949, this book is said to be a great masterpiece and reasonably “prophetic”. People are in awe of his psychic skills when in fact, God warned us about what was going to come to pass in these last days if we don’t repent in a book written way before 1984 called the Bible for it’s the living and standing Word.

20. The Epic of Gilgamesh, an epic poem from ancient Mesopotamia

This epic mythological tale is regarded as the earliest surviving great work of literature and the second oldest religious text after the Pyramid Texts. I think it’s a knockoff of the Bible as do all mythologies, but hey, I gotta read it before I knock it. It’s been on my TBR like forever, so I’ll try to get to this one before the year kisses us adieu. 

To be honest, I am not sure if I’ll even get to read all the books that I mentioned here, but I am looking to expand my reading horizons a little. Lately, I’ve been engrossed in French Literature and I could’ve easily listed 20 French books I’ll love to read before the end of 2020.

What books are you looking forward to reading this year?

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