Book #25: Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man

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Author: Steve Harvey
Publisher: HarperCollins (January 27th, 2009)
Pages: 232
Chapters: 15

BLURB:

Steve Harvey, the host of the nationally syndicated Steve Harvey Morning Show, can’t count the number of impressive women he’s met over the years, whether it’s through the “Strawberry Letters” segment of his program or while on tour for his comedy shows. These are women who can run a small business, keep a household with three kids in tiptop shape, and chair a church group all at the same time. Yet when it comes to relationships, they can’t figure out what makes men tick. Why? According to Steve it’s because they’re asking other women for advice when no one but another man can tell them how to find and keep a man. In Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, Steve lets women inside the mindset of a man and sheds lights on concepts and questions such as:

—The Ninety Day Rule: Ford requires it of its employees. Should you require it of your man?

—How to spot a mama’s boy and what if anything you can do about it.

—When to introduce the kids. And what to read into the first interaction between your date and your kids.

—The five questions every woman should ask a man to determine how serious he is.

— And more…

Sometimes funny, sometimes direct, but always truthful, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man is a book you must read if you want to understand how men think when it comes to relationships.

*YAWNS*

review

…REVIEW!

Sit down. This is going to be a bit long.

This is a book that I’ll never go for. People around me were raving about it and insist that I must read it. It landed on my desk at a time when I had nothing to read. 

I’m sorry I even went past the cover. I don’t like reading relationship books, this was my first one outside of the Bible, and I couldn’t even make it to the last page.

Steve might have some things partially right, but this book was over-hyped and reduced to a gender stereotype. This book basically tells us that men are responsible for our happiness, we’re to blame when we don’t understand them and we should be thankful for/to them.

The book title might be a good one, but it is one-sided and a hot mess. Steve doesn’t hold men in contempt of their behavior. For me, he came across as insecure and controlling. A classic example is Steve throwing a childish tantrum when his wife, Majorie went scuba diving … Just because he wasn’t able to “protect” her! Pffftt! What a lame excuse! The thing that his wife loves the most (her sense of adventure) he took it away from her. That is not compromising. Like, grow a pair and learn to scuba dive with the wife too, Steve. Your methods of “protecting” is unhealthy!

Steve says he doesn’t know a single man who hasn’t cheated on his wife. What kind of friends do you hang out with, man?

This book in a nutshell: women don’t have the right to think like a woman. Steve assumes that ALL men are running games on women. That alone tells me the kind of view he has on people. Men are perfect. We are the ones who are struggling to attain that level of perfection because we can’t get on that level without thinking like a man.

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I admit that men are fascinating creatures, but let’s be realistic here: Steve is black and he is giving black men a bad name. Although he insists knowing what ALL men like/dislike, ‘WE’ do not cover ‘EVERY’ single man on the face of this planet. The Frenchman is different from the American man in many ways. The Caribbean man is nothing like the European man. Even the Middle Eastern men won’t easily fit into the ‘we’ category. I am a lover of heels and yes, some men do compliment me in my heels from time to time, but who is Mr. Harvey to say that ALL men prefer a heels-wearing woman? Some men like seeing women in flats or even a pair of sneakers.

This book is written from a sexiest’s point of view.

What Steve Harvey wants, not what ALL men want…

In Part 1: The Mindset of a Man, Steve states that men are simple. Oh, they are? So why is it when some of them get older, they get more complicated as they go through their so-call mid-life crisis? Oh right, it’s the woman’s fault. And about bragging rights? Steve, newsflash, not ALL men care about being number 1 and there are actually women out here who care about being number 1. You know? The independent success hungry driven ones? Not all women want a grand peacock. Some women are content with the loving man that they have, even if he isn’t mega successful, has a flashy car or a big old house to show for his achievements.

Excuses are made throughout this book.

“And if you’re her man and that woman loves you – I mean really loves you? – she will shine you up when you’re dusty, encourage you when you’re down, defend you even though she’s not so sure you were right, and hang on to your every word, even when you’re not saying anything worth listening to.” (page 19)

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Yes Steve, because we’re stupid lap dogs. Steve says a woman should listen to basically any and everything that comes out of a man’s mouth, but then he turns around and says that men don’t have time to listen to any and everything that comes out of a woman’s mouth. A relationship works both ways, honey. If I have to hang onto every word out of my man’s mouth and nod along like I’m some useless trophy girlfriend/wife, then that man is going to listen to me when I want to talk about a bad day at the office.

He then proceeds to enlighten us on why men cheat:

“A man can love his wife, his children, his home, and the life that they’ve all built together, and have an incredible physical connection to her, and still get some from another woman without a second thought about it, because the actual act with the other woman meant nothing to him. It was something that may have made him feel good physically, but emotionally, his heart – the professing, proving, and protecting he saves for the woman he loves – may be at home with his woman.” (Page 98)

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Come on! What even is this? Why isn’t he talking about infidelity bringing STDs into the marriage bed? Some of these affairs do mean something to many men otherwise they wouldn’t have a regular mistress to get served from. Steve, get off your high and mighty horse and stop smoking that crack. You wrote this book for the cold success-hungry driven black man who simply lives life through black-and-white lenses.

Steve touches on the 90-day rule. For a man who is supposed to be holier-than-art-thou, he is saying that women should give up the “cookie” on the 90th day of their relationship. What a sanctimonious bastard! No wonder why black love is in trouble! You’re supposed to be a “Christian”, yet you condone this action just because men lack self-control and must have “the cookie”. 

He manages to contradict himself several times. He expects a woman to stay home and do housewife stuff – taking care of the children blah blah blah – preferring the man to provide, yet, this two-tongued sanctimonious bastard turns around and says that men like women who are independent and don’t “reach in his pockets” and that both the husband and the wife should work to make ends meet. MAKE UP YER SIMPLE NARROWED MIND!

I honestly don’t understand how this book received so many so-call great reviews. Steve should realize that not all men out there are living in the cavemen age. There are men out here who knows how to communicate his feelings and thoughts. If Steve can’t do that, that is his business. Married couples are equal partners and guess what Steve? COMMUNICATION IS THE GREATEST KEY!!!! This sexist book only “proves” that men are simple-minded and this is an insult to many men out there. Who is a man married thrice to give us relationship advice anyway? Could have easily fooled me, Steve. You sound like a control freak with issues.

Maybe he should have named his book ‘Women, Blame Yourselves, Not Men: Why Women are at Fault for Misunderstanding Men When It Comes to Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment’. Maybe he should have written about teaching men how to be better. This is not the 1950’s anymore, Steve. If a woman was to truly think like a lady and act like a man, the tables would turn and sweet beautiful chaos will ensue. 

I am not a relationship expert, nor do I claim to be one, but men and women, just be your wonderful selves. Know who you are inside-out and know what you stand for and believe in and you’ll be alright in the long run. Act like a lady and think like a smart one. This book is an excuse written for men who want to get away with bloody murder by blaming their imperfections on women. Save your time and read the Bible instead. It’s the best book when it comes to relationship advice.

Not all women are not silly, pathetic, desperate and helpless damsels when it comes to men.

Here’s some advice for you, Steve, leave the writing for experts on relationship issues. You just stick to hosting Family Feud. This book:

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VERDICT:

No steaming coffee

NEXT UP:

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Escoffier: The King of Chefs by Kenneth James

Day 1: WLSWC: John 3:3-7

I am armed with my Bible (KJV) and I am ready to do this!! 

3 Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.

4 Nicodemus saith unto him, How can a man be born when he is old? can he enter the second time into his mother’s womb, and be born?

5 Jesus answered, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God.

6 That which is born of the flesh is flesh; and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.

7 Marvel not that I said unto thee, Ye must be born again.

Blossoms:

August Scripture Writing Challenge is here! Come by and get your free printables and we will study salvation and eternity together!:

Will there be an end to all the suffering?

Last week, we looked at why we should not blame God for the suffering that is affecting the world due to the sins of man. This is the conclusion of that topic.

Some of us think that God just sits up there on fluffy clouds while allowing suffering to reign supreme here on earth, but I assure you, that Being that we’ve been denying is real and He is dishearten by all the causalities.

 How can I know this?

Consider Judges 2:18 in which God was distressed because of the cruel way His people were mistreated.  He also detests “hands that shed innocent blood” (Proverbs 6:16-17) and there is a reason why the 6th Commandment forbade us from killing: Thou shalt not kill (Exodus 20:13).

Never think that God is void of feelings. Whenever we suffer, He longs to comfort us because He feels for us (Zechariah 2:8). Had it not been for the sins which plague this world, there wouldn’t have been any suffering.  Reflect on that.

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James 1:13 assures us that God does not cause our problems.

So when someone ask you if there is an end to all this suffering, you can refer to (and take comfort in) Revelation 21:3-4:  And I heard a great voice out of heaven saying, Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them, and be their God.

And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.

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via Google Search

RECAP: Why does God allow suffering?

The answer lies in your Bible:

Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all people, because all sinned. (Romans 5:12)

But He wants us to choose life as evident in Deuteronomy 30:19.

REMINDER from Charlotte Brontë:

The Great Being unseen, but all-present, who in his beneficence desires only our welfare, watches the struggles between good and evil in our hearts, and waits to see whether we obey his voice, heard in the whispers of conscience, or lend an ear to the Spirit Evil, which seeks to lead us astray. Rough and steep is the path indicated by divine suggestion; mossy and declining the green way along which temptation strews flowers. Then conscience whispers, “Do what you feel is right, obey me, and I will plant for you firm footing.”

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