Posted in Books & Reviews

Book #138: When Dimple Met Rishi

People: This book sucks socks!
Also other people: This book was the best book of the year!
Also, also other people: I was torn between giving it a 5 or a 3.
Me: I’ll make my own decision.

I read this book two months or so ago and I have to say that I am pretty disappointed with one Dimple and the plot. I’ll never stop writing honest reviews for I don’t believe in changing my opinion for anyone. I have so much to say that this might get a little lengthy.

Oohkay, let me warm up first.

Flex my fingers, adjust my computer screen, grab my coffee… Ready!

Purple and Orange Flower Girl Wedding Card

I went into this book neutral because YA rarely lives up to the hype no matter how many Book-tubers swear by the book (I’ve unsubscribed to all of their channels for they almost always have the same boring and repetitive content). I came out hating this book. Dimple was just an awful character although I liked her for the first few pages. She was a nerd and she wanted to pursue her dreams, but then she met Rishi, and in the blink of an eye, her entire character changed quicker than a chameleon changes its skin. 

She was irritating and annoying that I wanted to reach into the book and slap her silly. 

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As for Rishi, he comes from money, but he doesn’t act like it. He’s humble and obedient to his parents even when they set him up to attend Insomnia Con (kind of a party name for a tech convention don’t you think!) to court Dimple. As a matter of fact, Dimple and Rishi’s parents tricked their kids into attending the convention (although Dimple really wanted to go) so they can meet. 

Rishi draws comics and he’s great at it, but he’s keen on following his parents’s dream of him having a great future in business (I think). I love the fact that Rishi was so comfortable with his uncoolness, he was the coolest person in the room. 

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Now, let’s rant in notes as I tear the book apart.

^ I did not get a sense of San Francisco besides the fog named Karl. Yes, the fog in San Fran is called Karl and the author did a great job of reminding us. However, I did not feel transported to San Fran as I did when I read James Patterson’s Women’s Murder Club series. 

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^ I think the author should’ve translated Hindi phrases for non-Hindi readers. I understood some of it for I used to learn Hindi at one point. 

^ An obnoxious group of well-manicured people – a white girl and boy, and an Indian boy – were already trying to take pictures of one another. (Page 65) What? You mean to tell me that black people don’t live and study in San Fran?  I thought it was unnecessary to point out the color of people’s skin for it did nothing here. I would’ve gotten it had Rishi never seen white people in his life, but for some reason, it just doesn’t work here.

^ “This is how it works in the US: In the spring we’re constantly subjected to bunnies and eggs wherever we go, signifying Christ’s resurrection. Then right around October we begin to see pine trees and nativity scenes and laughing fat white men everywhere.” (Page 142). Now, this does not offend me in anyway for Easter is a pagan festival and Christmas does not signify Christ’s true birth. However, I think this paragraph was meant to be religiously controversial as Rishi said at the end that he gets to explain Hinduism. Author, stop being so foolish. If a Christian were to go to India now, they’ll be assaulted with Hinduism iconography. If the so-call Christian images are assaulting your senses, pack your bags and leave America for good. 

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^ So Dimple attends a party and drags Goody Two Shoes Rishi along with her. I can’t believe that the author wants me to believe that someone like Dimple who scorns people and social life like the plague attends parties. Just no! It doesn’t work. On the other hand, I can believe that Rishi has never been to a party before besides Diwali ones. 

^ Cue unnecessary dramatic exit: He turned and walked away, the fog swallowing him whole. (Page 353). 

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^ Where is the coding talk? The tech talk? The app talk? The whole point of Dimple attending Insomnia Con was to create a health app to help people and there was hardly any talk of it. This book was pure drivel. 

^ I am going to sound stereotypical, but this scene calls for it: Which respectful Indian boy or girl would be making out in a dark alley and when things get heated, the girl asks, “What? You mean here? We can’t do it here?” and “If you’re doing this because of some old-school concern for my ‘honor’, you don’t need to.” (Page 287). Nice going, Dimple. Really nice going. I can think of all the names in the book to call you, but then, that wouldn’t honor you, would it now?

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^ Insomnia Con is having a talent contest and Dimple wants to do a Bollywood dance. They started off with ‘Dil Na Diya’, but ended up dancing to ‘Dance Pe Chance’ from Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi

I was relieved when I came to the last page of this garbage. It would’ve been interesting to know more about the app and Dimple’s competitors’ apps as well. This story went from its focus on creating an app to a pointless talent show. With all of the ‘careful’ preparations leading up to the show, you’ll think the author would dedicate more than just a paragraph to it (Page 308). I wanted Dimple and Rishi to lose the talent show, but of course, they won for they danced to a SRK song after all. 

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This book was a total mess and you know what else is? Jab Harry Met Sejal and I am contemplating on doing a review soon. The author said that she was inspired by Bollywood movies and she passed for most Bollywood movies are a mess. This writing was cringe to the max.

The author forgot to thank Shah Rukh Khan in the acknowledgments and this book put me off so much that I don’t think From Twinkle, With Love would be redeeming… but I’mma read it anyway.

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COVER

Probably one of the most natural covers I’ve ever seen! I love that the model isn’t airbrushed and you can see all the hairs on her face. 5/5.

VERDICT:

love coffee

*** GIFs and photos used are not mine unless stated otherwise. Credit goes to Google Search. 

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Posted in Tom Cruise Movie Challenge

Legend: long hair, a thieving princess, young love, and a great pair of legs!

Tom Cruise movie #7

Actual Story: Darkness seeks to create eternal night by destroying the last of the unicorns and marrying a fairy princess is opposed by the forest boy Jack and his elven allies. This story was actually taken from Celtic mythology.

Last month, my bestie reminded me that I was doing the 80s movie challenge which was far removed from my mind. It’s been a while since I’ve updated the TC Movie Challenge. Today, I’m about to attack a beloved classic. 

Many people would tell you that they grew up loving this film and it’s their favorite of TC even if they’re not fans of his. I did not grow up with this film so if you love this movie, I don’t care. And I was like TC, too, during this movie, for half the time he didn’t know why he was in a scene. Half the time I didn’t know why the scene was even a scene. 🤷‍♂️

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“Am I lost? One thing’s for sure, I’m not in Kansas anymore, Toto!… and why is that girl running towards me?!”

I saw this movie for the first time two years ago and it was nothing special. I made notes so this is going to be a note-taking kind of review.  

^ A princess singing to animals and flowers? Is this the live version of Snow White? Or was it Cinderella? Everyone (I don’t know who EVERYONE is since we’ve never met the King & Queen) expects Princess Lili to marry a prince, but she doesn’t want to for she’s in love with the jungle boy.

^ This is TC’s first role as Jack. He’ll eventually go on to be Jack Reacher (LOVE!) and Jack Harper narrowly missing out on as Jack in Jack & the Beanstalk. So, Lili is in love with this Jack who’s actually the Prince of the Woods who’s actually the offspring of Tarzan and Peter Pan. Jack is friends with a crow and he is quite likable. His princess girlfriend? Eh, not so much. Lili steals from a nice poor old lady and then offers the food to Jack. Isn’t she a princess? Why can’t she take food from the palace to feed the forest vagrant? And of course, it’s a heart-shaped cookie. How much more subtle can one get in proclaiming their love without actually saying those 3 little words? Does it hurt to say them?

Behold, the forest dweller! 

Again, why is a so-call princess allowed to roam freely in the forest alone with no guards at her side?

^ Jack speaks every animal language known to… animal kind (Dr. Doolittle who?), even unicorn.

^ “Let me sing to you,” Lili wants to seduce Jack with her lovely voice after she kisses him and here is that delightful conversation:

Lily: Are you afraid to kiss me, Jack?
Jack: I’m afraid you’ll break my heart.
Lily: Then still your heart. You’re dear to me as life itself. (Proceeds to remove the ring from her finger) Don’t you wish this was our wedding ring?
Jack: If I say yes, would my wish come true?
Lily: I’m a princess. It’s my right to set a challenge for my suitors. 

That little trollop! Why play hard to get when you’re already in love with someone, huh? And that conversation was cringe to the max!

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When Tom has better hair than the leading lady…

^ Moving on, the land is now turned to ice. I can’t remember why because I stopped paying attention, but I think it’s something to do with Lili ignoring Jack Doolittle and talking to the unicorns. How does she even know unicorn language? Oh, right, she’s young, pure and has an innocent heart. The goblin Blix succeeds in cutting the horn off the unicorn thus freezing the entire land (Frozen anyone?) except for Jack, Lili, and some fairy kinda looking folks. I think this is what happened, but if it didn’t happen, I don’t care.

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^ Time skip.

^ Time skip.

^ More time skip.

^ There’s someone more powerful than Jack in the forest and he’s a childlike thing name… Gum. No, wait, it’s Gump. Honeythorn Gump. And he throws legendary tantrums! 

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^ So, Darkness kidnaps Lili and Jack and his fairy looking friends must get her back and they must also try to get back the horn… to be honest, I stopped following the plot, but here enters Tinkerbell’s cousin, I mean, Oona. This fairy even tries to seduce Jack so she can get a kiss out of him telling him “I could be anything you want me to be, even your heart’s desire.” The Swamp Hag even tries to seduce Jack calling him a “Juicy boy” although to be fair, she was trying to have him for dinner, but the sexual reference was not to be missed. At one point, the old hag acknowledges his youth and tries to kiss him. WHAT? And children watched this? Unbelievable! WHY WAS EVERYONE SEDUCING JACK? HAVE THEY NEVER SEEN AN ATTRACTIVE MALE BEFORE?

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Crazy eyes Oona is psycho for Jack, yo! I love when Jack called her desperation ‘fairy glamour’ and that’s about the only thing I love for it was so random!

And once again, Tom is so out of place that sometimes he looks… regretful for taking on the role of Jack. He’s like ‘Who drugged me and what even I am doing here?’

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“Oh, dear! I think I might be lost again! What did they put in my water?” 

^ Darkness is hot for Lili. He wants to tempt her, tame her, make her his. Satan, is that you? Oh, well, I guess it is. Lili doesn’t look the type to be fascinated by material things given her love for Jack and animals, so tempting her with jewels and her stupidly falling for it all of a sudden was not believable.

^ Table dancing! Cue the part where Jack is fighting the bad guys on top of a table and the camera just loves him! It keeps the focus on his thighs, those amazing legs, and his backside. And WHY DOES JACK KEEP FALLING WITH HIS LEGS UP IN THE AIR? Did the creepy director had other motives? I bet he did! It’s Hollywood after all and they’re not always subtle with the sexual messages they’re trying to convey.

^ Finally, Jack takes on Lord Darkness. Light defeats darkness and the light in this one is Jack. Of course. Of course. TC has a megawatt smile that can light up a thousand dark cities after all. Darkness teases him about being a boy, but when he thought he had victory in his red claws, he taunts, “It’s always a pleasure to take a brave man’s life.” But Jack eventually defeats him so take my life too, Jack, for I wouldn’t get the time back I spent watching this rubbish. Please, I beg of you, take it!

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^ Tom Cruise screams. He screams just like in The Mummy… I guess Nick Morton is actually Jack all grown up. He escaped the forest and Lili is the mummy who returns to haunt him. I recall saying that prior to The Mummy, I’ve never heard him scream before. It figures that I haven’t seen this rubbish film as yet so I didn’t know what his screams sounded like then.

^ Jack gracefully falls into the water. I think that was TC’s body double.

^ Jack kisses a sleeping cursed Lili Sleeping Beauty style. She wakes up in the forest happy to be with her one true love. And scene. 

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FINAL THOUGHTS

I still have no idea why this movie was so popular or why it’s even someone’s favorite film or why it’s referred to as a genius. The movie was dark (actually a dark fairy tale), they were constantly objectifying certain parts of Tom’s body and he wore a tunic without pants. WHY? We get that his legs are killer for he never missed leg day, but would it have killed for wardrobe to get him some pants? Tom was what, 20, 21 or something like that in this film? Mia Sara was only 16. And Tim Curry… ew! *shudders*

I’ve read that they wanted this movie to be even DARKER in which the Darkness lord torments Lili until she loves him and they would’ve had violent relations after. Ewww!

This film was nothing but a sex metaphor pot which over-sexualized Tom’s body… which is creepy in its own way. The horn on the unicorn is a phallic symbol and in medieval mythology, it was said that only a virgin could attract a unicorn and lull it to sleep so hunters could kill it. Lili attracts the male unicorn and Jack scolds her reminding her that it’s forbidden to touch a unicorn. She doesn’t listen and the forest is plunged into winter. 

Lili becomes the bride of Darkness after dancing with a shadow and dancing is a ceremonial symbol of sex hence why Bollywood likes sexy dance numbers in their movies. 😉

And how does Tom’s hair remained glorious throughout? 

DISCLAIMER: Tom Cruise’s killer legs, good looks, talent, and great looking hair have since disavowed any and all associations with this film. They’ve since gone on to star in decent better films and making their owner look good while performing those roles.

Tom does not mention this film on his resume and it’s the film he never talks about whenever his career comes up. 

TRIVIA

^ At the time prior to filming, Tom Cruise had a disliking for cutting his hair. When he was cast for the part, his long locks were the perfect look for the forest-dwelling Jack. It is the longest length of Tom’s natural hair captured in a film. Word? I thought his hair was longest in The Last Samurai? I guess it’s safe to say that TC doesn’t like long hair anymore for he got the memo that he looked like a free-spirited LA hippie.

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So much hair! Dude looks like a hippie!

Mia Sara was only sixteen during the filming of Legend. Sara was born in 1967, so she was sixteen in 1984 when production for the film began. But it took a further three years before Legend was finally completed by Ridley Scott, because of the film’s immensely troubled production history.

^ The sound of the unicorns at play is actually a recording of humpback whales. I figured those were whale sounds!

^ Jack’s armor is made from flattened bottle caps.

(Via IMDb)

Would I watch it again?: I rather soak my eyes with bleach.

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Memorable Lines: when the credits start rolling.

***All photos and GIFs via Google Search

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