Legend Has It…

Short Story #31

“So,” Jack Payet turns around and places his hands flat on the desk. “You’re telling me that three stupid girls went into the woods in search of some legendary monster and got kidnapped?”

She nods.

“And I should report it?”

She nods again.

“Give me one good reason why.”

“Because one of the girls is the mayor’s daughter.”

“Whoop de doo!” Jack mocks. “The mayor has done nothing good for this city and want my byline in the press about his daughter? What about the other girls? Don’t they get some sympathy for being stupid, too?”

She sighs and lets this one slides. When her boss was in one of his so-call righteous mood swings, there was no reaching him. All there was left to do was let him finish his sanctimonious rant and when he was satisfied, he’ll set out to write the article he was viciously ranting about anyway.

“Didn’t Criminal Minds teach them anything?”

“Not everyone watches TV, sir.”

“That one shouldn’t go into the woods alone?”

“Technically, there were three girls an…”

“How could they be so stupid, Lois?” 

“Actually, my name is Janice.”

“Criminal Minds is like the best lesson in how not to get murder 101.”

“Again, not everyone watches TV!”

“I’m going into that woods tonight.”

“Good luck, sir.”

“And you’re coming with me.”

“Why?”

“To prove there is no such thing as the Laughing Man and the girls just wanted attention.”

Janice shakes her head. Sometimes, she didn’t get how Jack Payet was an award-winning journalist for the Los Angeles Times.

Jack grinned at the satire draft and shaking his head, discarded it to get down to the real article. He had an hour and a half to prepare for his trek into the woods, and he didn’t want to waste any more time. 

Related > Sometimes You Can’t Go Home

When I was younger, I wanted to be a journalist (thanks to Clark Kent), a lawyer, or a librarian. God has blessed me with a wonderful library career, and I am utmost grateful for this was definitely the best route for me. However, from time to time, I do enjoy writing about lawyers and journalists. I enjoyed writing Jack Payet, but with this short (it’s actually part of a series that my youngest sister is currently encouraging me to write), I wanted to work on dialogue setting.

Also, the mention of the name ‘Lois’ is a nod to Clark Kent’s partner although Payet ain’t no Kent. I included the LA Times draft “article” to give an insight into the articles that Payet would’ve truly liked to have published.

All grammatical errors are mine.

***GIFs/Images that don’t belong to LPM are via Google Search (Right-click for original source)

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Book #108: Breakfast with Jesus

Breakfast with Jesus is a very spiritual and powerful book. Its messages are time tested and true. This book really made me think; but more importantly, it made me feel. If you are looking for a book that will move you to tears, then look no further than Breakfast With Jesus; a masterful book that will not only inspire you to become a better person, but will also teach you some of life’s greatest lessons. A young man has breakfast with Jesus and discovers the meaning of life. What lessons will he learn? What secrets are going to be revealed? Jump in and you will find out…..

Basically, it’s a short read; can read it within an hour.

I am sitting on a fence here wondering what would I ask Jesus if I were to converse with Him face to face and Michael missed a great chance to ask worthy questions. Don’t get me wrong, some of the questions asked were interesting, but he came across as self-absorbed.

When I first saw this book I was certain that Breakfast with Jesus was the author’s testimony on having a heart to heart conversation with God and it convinced him to draw closer to his Maker. But it wasn’t so and I can’t begin to understand how is this book inspirational or powerful as critics claim. As Christians, we should be aware that not all books that SCREAM ‘Jesus’ as its title mean that it’s acceptable. This book does not inspire anyone to become a better person, that’s what we have the Bible for and I suggest that the author return to his Bible.

I understand what the author was trying to do with this story, but he turned something with a good intention into a horrible one. 

THE CHARACTERS

There are only two characters in this book: Jesus and Michael.

Jesus comes across as lively, bubbly, playful and too judgmental. The author’s perception of Jesus is different than the Biblical Jesus I’ve come to know, love, and respect. I don’t think Jesus would act as the author depicted Him in this short story.

Jesus is not smug nor is he judgmental. Jesus is ever-loving, kind, and patient and He sure doesn’t have the time to tell someone how their favorite TV series ends just because HE SEES EVERYTHING!

Michael is smug and shallow just like the generation of today. At times I couldn’t stand him especially when he asked Jesus about HBO and how Game of Thrones ended. He also asked some really stupid questions like “Is Michael Jackson in hell?” to which Jesus replied, “Yes,” The question completely threw me because what does MJ have to do with your intimate conversation with Jesus? And here’s another one: “Did you get married to Mary Magdalene?” Want to hear Jesus’ reply? I bet you want to. Well, here it is: “It is true that I loved her more than my other disciples, but not in the kind of a way a man loves a woman.”

WHAT? DID MR. KING EVEN READ THE BIBLE? WHAT NONSENSE! DON’T PUT WORDS IN JESUS’ MOUTH! There is nowhere in the Bible that says Jesus loved Mary more than His disciples. And Jesus saying that He doesn’t love Mary the “way a man loves a woman” is referring to worldly love instead of Godly love. Jesus is not selfish to reserve love for “A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.” (John 13:34).

He should’ve been asking questions about the Second Coming and why it is important to remember the Sabbath. Instead, he wasted Jesus’ precious time by asking stupid irrelevant questions. 

COVER

It didn’t look like breakfast. It looked more like someone on a diet, but I like the colors. 2/5.

OPENING:

My day started out like any other day. I was in the kitchen preparing breakfast, before going to work; cream cheese spread over rye toast and coffee. The breakfast of champions! As usual, I was running late, and it certainly didn’t help my cause any when I spilled cream cheese all over my new silk tie.

VERDICT:

NO STEAMING COFFEES!!…Don’t ever misrepresent the King and expect me to accept it. Don’t make a fool out of Jesus. I regret reading this horrible book. 

My people hath been lost sheep: their shepherds have caused them to go astray, they have turned them away on the mountains: they have gone from mountain to hill, they have forgotten their restingplace.

Jeremiah 50:6

If you were to have breakfast with Jesus, what would your conversation be like? Or, if you were to ask Him one question, what would you ask?

***Breakfast GIFs via Google Search

Book #85: Singleholic

Mixed-race 30-year-old Sarah is dumped by her Muslim boyfriend and finds herself single once again. Fed up of being alone, she gives herself one year to find a man. With the help of her friends, Georgina the happily married blonde, and Jacquie, the single black diva, Singleholic Sarah learns to alter her game with hilarious consequences.

Chibu, the Nigerian banker is sexy, but Arthur, the plum English Internet King is charming. And will Sam the tanned, trendy toy boy ever ring?

Join Singleholic Sarah on a sassy Sex and the City multicultural dating spree across London. She goes from dancing through fountains at Somerset House to having a boogie in bars in Brixton. Singleholic plays with race like never before and toys with all those questions you’ve always been afraid to ask …

Author: Katherine Bing
Publisher: Hansib Publications Limited (April 1, 2009)

First, I have a confession: I’ve never watched Sex and the City although I have a very good idea what the show was about. Secondly, this is what I think of this book: With a stereotype there, a stereotype here, there a stereotype, here a stereotype, stereotype there, here. Religious and racial stereotypes! This book was not full of questions we’ve always been afraid to ask, it was full of those very same stereotype questions that (most) black/mixed women have always been asking or thinking about.

^ He’s the perfect age, perfect height, perfect color. If truth be told, I prefer them black. Can’t betray the race. I want to belong to the club. With a white guy, I walk down the street and black guys stare in disgust (page 34)

Some black/mixed woman can’t see themselves with a man from outside of their race and it causes them to miss what another man could have offered them. I don’t want to belong to any club. If I choose love, how am I betraying my race?

I was irritated by the author using too MANY CAPS throughout the book. I almost threw it in the bin. It was also repetitive. 

The book is a light and quick read about a self-centered protagonist who’s desperate not to be single, but the characters were too shallow. The characters were super unlikable (except Sam and Arthur). Sarah is a teacher, but the author only shows her about twice in the classroom and she didn’t even teach anything remarkable about history, just some racist stereotype issue.

At one point, I even wondered if the author was bitter about being a mixed woman and if she has been hurt by too many men. The story had potentials, but the author was too lazy to explore any of it.

VERDICT:

NEXT UP:

Mr. (Not Quite) Perfect by Jennifer Hart

Book #84: The Echo of Violence

When terrorists attack a missionary school, brutally killing their hostages and posting videos of the senseless murders online, time is running out. Sentinels’ agent Alexa Marlowe is forced into an unlikely alliance with a relentless mercenary. But he is no stranger.

Jackson Kinkaid witnessed the raid, and only he can track the killers to their mountain stronghold. Guarding a dark secret, rumored to sell his services to the highest bidder, Jackson is not the same man Alexa once knew. And although he can lead her to the terrorist leader she’s been ordered to take alive, how can she be sure he won’t sabotage her mission to save the one person who got him through the worst nightmare of his life?

Author: Jordan Dane
Publisher: HarperCollins (August 31st, 2010)
Chapters: 23
Pages: 353
Series: Sweet Justice #3

Alexa Marlowe who? Jackson Kinkaid was the best character in the story period. Dark and mysterious, he steals from drug dealers to give money to the needy, just like Robin Hood. Stealing is stealing even if you’re stealing from drug dealers. No one questions where he’s getting the money from and when he gives it to a children’s charity run by Sister Kate, he has to attend a function honoring him. The missionary school function is gate-crashed by terrorists and they succeed in taking the children and Sister Kate as hostages.

Jackson is obsessed with saving Kate and he doesn’t care how he does it. He asks for help and Head of the Sentinels, Garrett responded by sending a group of agents – headed by Alexa – to rescue the hostages. In the end, Jackson ends up rescuing them and they see him as a hero. Still, Sister Kate has to be rescued and he can’t stop to rest.

The so-call attraction between Alexa and Jackson is a myth. It was suddenly tossed in there to mix things up. I didn’t buy it. There was nothing between them. The backstories took too long to come into play and I almost hurled the book across the room. Other than this, it was an all right ride, not too thrilling, but also not for the faint of heart.

VERDICT:

NEXT UP:

Singleholic by Katherine Bing

Book #83: Are You Afraid of the Dark?

In four cities across the world, four people die violently and mysteriously. The dead share a single crucial link: each was connected to an all-powerful environmental think tank. Two of the victims’ widows-accomplished artist Diane Stevens and international supermodel Kelly Harris-may hold the key to their husbands’ demise. Terrified for their lives, suspicious of each other, and armed only with their own wits and guile, they must join forces in a nightmare cycle of hunt-and-kill. At stake is the shattering truth about the tragedies that robbed them of the men they loved…and about an awesome conspiracy whose ultimate target is as big as the earth and as close as the air we breathe.

Author: Sidney Sheldon
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing (June 01st, 2005)
Chapters: 46
Pages: 399

I am so happy that I got this book on sale because it was not all that I had expected it to be.

The characters were fairly developed and there were backstories, but they were missing personalities. We have Kelly Harris, a black successful supermodel based in Paris and she’s afraid of the dark because she was raped at eight. But the story was not about her and I think the title is misleading. It should have been ‘How Many Times Can Two Dense Women Outfox a Nutty Businessman?’ In a nutshell, the story is about this businessman who yearned for power, got it, betrayed his kind and gentle brother, took over the company, built a weather machine and murdered scientists who refused to leave their company to join his. It was predictable and boring.

I was disappointed when Diane and Kelly went to the memorial at KIG and nothing thrilling happened. They just went in and back out with the help of some TV anchorman. No action.

What really irked me was the author calling the PSG football venue the Paris St-Germain stadium. He did not do his French and football research. The stadium is called Le Parc des Princes and its Paris SAINT-Germain, not ST! If you don’t want to write SAINT, at least write Paris SG or PSG! The author goes on to say that a championship game was taking place between Lyons and Marseilles. 

I am sorry, but Lyons? Marseilles? The clubs are Olympique Lyonnais and Olympique Marseille. We call them LYON (or OL) and MARSEILLE (or l’OM), not Lyons and Marseilles!!!! THERE ARE NO Ss AT THE END OF THE TEAMS! NONE!!!!!

Did this author even do his research? I am appalled and insulted and I am not even français. 

Okay, now back to the story.

With so many henchmen after Kate and Kelly, you’d think THAT AT ONE POINT they’d think of disguises. You’d think they wouldn’t be so stupid to contact KIG to enquire after a certain secretary. You’d think for heroines, they’d be smart, but they were really dense and I don’t buy their so-call clever slipperiness.

The problem with the female characters is that they’re one-dimensional. Also, they aren’t real women, but the product of the author’s fantasy of what a perfect woman should be. This book goes straight to the trash.

VERDICT:

NEXT UP:

The Echo of Violence by Jordan Dane

Book #81: Passing Through

From the national bestselling author of Waiting in Vain and Satisfy My Soul comes a sexy, witty collection of connected stories set on San Carlos, a tiny island with an old volcano in the Caribbean Sea.

Spanning the early 1900s up to modern times, the stories trace the intersecting lives of travelers, expatriates, and local folks in ways that shock, illuminate, and reveal. From the American photographer who finds her world disturbed by new forms of love and lust, to a charismatic priest confronted by the earthly perks of fame and stardom, the diverse mix of characters are united by the universal search for love and understanding—a challenge on an island simmering with issues of politics, power, and race.

Written with poetic grace and titillating candor, each story shines against its own tableau—World War II, the rise of Fidel Castro, Mt. Pelée devastating Martinique, import-export trading, Bob Marley in the days before his music echoed all around the world. As men and women fall in love, marry and remarry, face moral conflicts and new identities, the volcano sees it all. From plantation days to the roots of revolution, it is a silent witness to the turbulent century that engulfs this tiny island of eternal humor, passion, and allure.

Author: Colin Channer
Publisher: One World/Ballantine (June 29, 2004)
Chapters: 7 shorts; 8 letters to the Editor
Pages: 351

We’re not here forever. We’re all just passing through.

This review is going to be short.

I had the displeasure of attempting to read this book. The best thing about working in a library is reading the books before the patrons borrow them. The worse thing about working in a library is reading the books before the patrons borrow them.

I couldn’t finish this book and there was no use in torturing myself to book death. From what I’ve read, the men and women seem to be carbon copies of each other. I abandoned this book on page 138. I don’t think I’ll read another book by this author.

VERDICT:

… to hold my attention, that is.

NEXT UP:

The Take by Martina Cole

Book #80: All Fall Down

Allison Weiss got her happy ending—a handsome husband, an adorable daughter, a job she loves, and the big house in the suburbs. But while waiting in the pediatrician’s office, she opens a magazine to a quiz about addiction and starts to wonder…Is a Percocet at the end of the day really different from a glass of wine? Is it such a bad thing to pop a Vicodin after a brutal Jump & Pump class…or if your husband ignores you? She tells herself that the pills help her make it through her days…but what if her increasing drug use, a habit that’s becoming expensive and hard to hide, is turning into her biggest problem of all?

Hailed as “a witty, realistic criticism on the modern age” (Boston Herald), this remarkable story of a woman’s fall into addiction and struggle to find her way back up again is Jennifer Weiner’s most masterful, moving, and celebrated work yet.

Author: Jennifer Weiner
Publisher: Atria Books (June 17, 2014)
Chapters: 28
Pages: 388

This was my first Jennifer Weiner book and probably my last. I hated this book. All the characters were unlikeable and I couldn’t summon enough emotion to feel sorry for the main character who was popping pills like it was the end of the world. I was very disappointed in this book. The author seemed more interested in cramming brand names into every chapter than making her characters likable. They weren’t even fully developed.

Here we have a late thirty-something mom, blogger, and wife name Allison who can’t seem to cope with a troubled daughter (only 5) and a distant hubby she suspects is cheating on her. She pops pills to cope better. Hubby works at Examiner and she used to work there as well until the annoying child came along and hubby decides that Allison should stay home full time.

Ellie. I hated that child. There was an incident where she stole her mom’s iPod and when confronted with it, she threw it at Allison’s head and she didn’t even get reprimanded. Is this what parenting has boiled down to?

I am not addicted to prescription pills, but I felt as if Weiner’s account was inaccurate. She did not grasp the world of addiction clearly. Allison did not have an overdose of popping so many pills and the author neglected to bring up that her main character surpassed addiction to a physical dependency before she went to rehab.

And I don’t get why authors have to portray children as bratty evil little nightmares. What? Don’t people produce good children anymore? Do they all misbehave and throw tantrums when they can’t get their own way? And shout and embarrass the parent out in public?

I think the story was unnecessarily wordy and it almost put me to sleep. I started speed reading before the 15^th chapter and should’ve quit, but I mustered the courage to go on. I couldn’t feel sorry for Allison not even when I got her backstory and when she checked into rehab, it was another snoozer. Allison was such a sanctimonious narcissistic bastard and although I could understand the denial part I thought it was overplayed.

Another thing I disliked was the way the author portrayed the facility’s employees and therapists. It was as if she went to rehab herself and left with a nasty grudge on one of the therapists.

I don’t know if Weiner has managed to set off anyone who has or is recovering from some kind medicine addiction, but if she has, I don’t blame them.

VERDICT:

NEXT UP:

Passing Through by Colin Channer

Book #79: The Matchmaker

48-year-old Nantucketer Dabney Kimball Beech has always had a gift for matchmaking. Some call her ability mystical, while others – like her husband, celebrated economist John Boxmiller Beech, and her daughter, Agnes, who is clearly engaged to the wrong man – call it meddlesome, but there’s no arguing with her results: With 42 happy couples to her credit and all of them still together, Dabney has never been wrong about romance.

Never, that is, except in the case of herself and Clendenin Hughes, the green-eyed boy who took her heart with him long ago when he left the island to pursue his dream of becoming a journalist. Now, after spending 27 years on the other side of the world, Clen is back on Nantucket, and Dabney has never felt so confused, or so alive.

But when tragedy threatens her own second chance, Dabney must face the choices she’s made and share painful secrets with her family. Determined to make use of her gift before it’s too late, she sets out to find perfect matches for those she loves most. The Matchmaker is a heartbreaking story about losing and finding love, even as you’re running out of time.

Author: Elin Hilderbrand
Publisher: Little, Brown and Company (June 10, 2014)
Chapters: 3 Parts
Pages: 360

She was not only engaging in awful, illicit behavior, she was hoping that other people would engage in it as well, so that she might feel less guilty.

I haven’t read new material in a while from Elin Hilderbrand and when this book was dropped into my lap, I couldn’t pass it up, but now that I’ve read it, I’ll think harder about reading her future material.

Dabney Kimball Beech has this gift for matchmaking: she sees pink if it’s a good aura; green if it’s bad. Dabney is 48 and she grew up on the island of Nantucket with her family. She is also married to John, an economist – trust me, you wouldn’t have forgotten his career even if you wanted to because the author repeated it numerous times. Dabney has a 26-year-old daughter, Agnes, who is dating Charles Jacob Pippin who is 18-years her senior and Dabney does not see pink (she sees green. Lots of green!) and therefore dislikes CJ for her only daughter.

Although married to the economist, Dabney truly loved one man her entire life: Clendenin – seriously, what kind of name is this? – who is also Agnes’ biological father. Clen left the island to pursue his journalism dreams but returned 26 years later with one arm missing in hot pursuit of the woman he left behind. I hated Clen for boldly walking back into Dabney’s life and demanding that she spends time with him. He didn’t care that she was married.

It gets worse. Nina, Dabney’s best friend encourages her to have a love affair with Clen.

Dabney is the Queen of Nantucket. She was the center of EVERYONE’S universe (so gag worthy!) and she was revered by many if not all. It was as if, Dabney was singlehandedly running Nantucket (excuse me, but who made her President?) and without her, tourism would have faltered.  I don’t need Dabney to tell me to choose Nantucket as a vacation spot. 

She is pathetic!

When Chen returned, Dabney became a different person. A childish, selfish, dishonest person. She cheated on Box and then tried to defend her actions rather selfishly. Box was the father figure in Dabney’s daughter’s life. He literally raised her! 

I’ve already made up my mind about Dabney being pathetic and selfish because she also cared for material things, so she learned that she had pancreatic cancer and did not have much time left, I couldn’t feel remorse for her. Sometimes I dislike it when an author kills off his/her main protagonist, but in this case, I don’t think anyone would miss Dabney.

It seems as if this author likes indulging and glamorizing adultery. It’s like a recurring theme for her, but when she tried to normalize adultery by putting a positive spin on it, it turned me off. Elin is telling us that it is okay to commit adultery with the only guy we’ve ever give our heart to. I find Dabney fake and annoying for her moral ambiguities. Everyone in this story was either committing adultery or thinking about having an affair.

This book is a big mess and I couldn’t wait for it to be over. I am not going to be reading this author again.

VERDICT:

NEXT UP:

All Fall Down by Jennifer Weiner

Book #77: One Plus One

Suppose your life sucks. A lot. Your husband has done a vanishing act, your teenage stepson is being bullied, and your math whiz daughter has a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that you can’t afford to pay for. That’s Jess’s life in a nutshell—until an unexpected knight in shining armor offers to rescue them. Only Jess’s knight turns out to be Geeky Ed, the obnoxious tech millionaire whose vacation home she happens to clean. But Ed has big problems of his own, and driving the dysfunctional family to the Math Olympiad feels like his first unselfish act in ages . . . maybe ever.

One Plus One is Jojo Moyes at her astounding best. You’ll laugh, you’ll weep, and when you flip the last page, you’ll want to start all over again.

Author: Jojo Moyes
Publisher: Pamela Dorman Books (July 1, 2014)
Chapters: 41
Pages: 368

“I don’t want a relationship, Ed. With you or anyone. There’s no room in my life for the whole one-plus-one thing.”

Let’s do this.

We have Jess, the caring, loving single mother of a Maths prodigy, Tanzie and a bullied goth, Nicky. Nicky is not her biological son. He is the son of her husband and another woman, but Jess loves him nonetheless. Her relationship with the husband is complicated. Complicated as in he’s been gone for two years after suffering a form of depression and all the while she thinks he’s living with his mother and trying to do right, Marty’s been living with his new girlfriend in her expensive dwelling and children.

I think Jess was rather naive that she let her husband off the hook for two years and bought all of his lies. I also wished she had handled meeting Marty and his new girlfriend a little better for her moment of anger turned out to be an embarrassment.  In the end, she finally applied for a divorce and opened her own handy business. This character was annoying.

Then there’s Ed Nicholls. Software geek who is facing some legal problems of his own. Facing jail time and not wanting to go home to visit his dying father, his life is thrown into a chaotic mess when he offered his cleaner, Jess and her children and their dog a lift to the Maths Olympiad. I couldn’t bring myself to care for him.

I loved two people: Norman, this large indeterminate breed of dog, is the sweetest character and I loved Nicky’s character. He was the stepson, the goth, the outsider, the one who didn’t fit in, the loner, the kind of character that is easy to write, but an author have to have that certain touch to bring him to life. Although tough on the outside and often bullied, he was a little softie deep down inside where it concerns his sister and he was not angry at the world. He grabbed my attention, but it was not enough for me to love this book.

I don’t think the story was funny nor was it romantic, but it reminded me to appreciate what I have and of how money is extremely important to get by in this struggling life. Jess was a penny pincher and I get that in real life, it can be sad, but her obsession with her poverty was overdone and it turned me off. The story had potential, but it was so depressing that it annoyed me a lot.

VERDICT:

NEXT UP:

Hope to Die by James Patterson

Book #71: Home of the Braised

Tensions are running high as the White House staff adjusts to a new chief usher and prepares for a high-stakes state dinner, where everything must be perfect. But as the date for the event approaches, things go disastrously wrong when the secretary of defense is found dead in his home, seemingly killed during a break-in.

At the same time Olivia’s fiancé, Gav, is looking into the mysterious murder of an old friend. Is there a connection? Despite an increase in security following the secretary’s death, Ollie learns the president is in imminent danger at the dinner and must do everything in her power to get to him—before it’s too late…

Author: Julie Hyzy
Publisher: Berkley (January 7, 2014)
Pages: 425
Series: A White House Chef Mystery (#7)

More chaos in the White House but this time around, I think I’ve had it with Ollie Paras. She continues to look over her shoulders just in case Virgil – or someone else – is out to steal her job. So yeah, that’s enough Ms. Paras for me. I won’t be able to handle anymore. I couldn’t wait for this book to finish and I was tempted several times to put it down. 

Gav and Ollie do not have enough chemistry for me to deem their relationship sweet. I don’t buy it. They seem to want to marry for the sake of just being together and seeing that they have one thing in common: danger magnets! And it’s nothing new where it comes to the chef/s befriending a Secret Service agent only for him to turn out to be a murderer with a vendetta.

VERDICT:

NEXT UP:

Safe Haven by Nicholas Sparks