Entertainment

Jab Harry Met Sejal: Cue every awkward sound in the world! 🦗

I didn’t schedule anything for the blog today, but I was going through drafts and came across a half finish movie review, so I’ll be completing it today! 😄

“Everyone loves a holiday, but holidays don’t last forever.” Harry

WARNING: If you like, love, adore, or even worship SRK, then you better look away. Now. I said, now!

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What would’ve taken me one sitting to watch a 2-hour movie took me a week. It was probably the first movie of SRK’s that I cringed throughout. In this movie, SRK is a tourist guide currently working in Amsterdam. His name is Harry and he’s a lonely man because he’s a “cheap womanizer”.

Harry drops a family off at the airport and here is where Miss Sejal comes in: she’s a member of the same family, but she can’t leave with them for she lost her engagement ring and she wants Harry to help her find it. 

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What could’ve been a funny-while-finding-oneself movie ends up being quite the opposite when Sejal leads the tour guide on a goose chase around Europe in search of an engagement ring when it was right in her bag all along. Bakwas! This movie was like forcing myself to finish a bad book. I enjoyed the European sights, but the dialogue was so cringy, it made the movie messier

Here is the unbelievable logic of this movie: Sejal has been carrying around a bag since the beginning of the movie and she does not look in it until she and Harry are kidnapped. What does she look in the bag for? Antiseptic to clean Harry’s wounds. She empties the contents of her handbag and THERE, nestled in the bag was the ring all along. Are you telling me that as a woman she just carried the bag around Europe as arm decoration? Wouldn’t a woman turn her bag inside-out once she discovers that her engagement ring is missing? Had she done this at the very beginning of the movie, then this movie wouldn’t have seen the light of day so the writer had to prolong it.

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Live scenes of me during JHMS

I’ve noticed that in some Bollywood movies where the white women are concerned, the Indian woman tends to feel threatened (especially if the woman in question is French) and it happened in this one also. The Indian woman would look at the white woman in disdain as she questions her Indian beau “How is she better than me? What do you see in her?” Sejal pulled this card on Harry… while still engaged to the faceless fiancé. Harry stupidly tells her that she is, in fact, better than Nastassia, the ex, and she is over the moon. Like, how does Sejal know this? She doesn’t even know Nas and it was plain to see that Nas was prettier than Sejal when it came down to looks. I think writers do this on purpose to sell the exotic beauty of the Indian woman which is unnecessary for Indian women are beautiful without trying. 

As for character development, there was none. Let’s start with Harry.

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More live scenes of me during JHMS

Harry is a womanizing travel guide. This was established early on in the movie. However, he comes off as a pervert. To be fair, SRK’s so-call romancing skills are actual perverted stalking skills, but who’s calling him out for it, eh? The ladies love him and they want him to stalk them. Him speaking German was lit, though! There’s a scene where Harry gets a flashback of his hometown in Punjab and he starts crying… then breaks into the most annoying song of the film ‘Radha’. Why do you hate me so much, Bollywood?

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When Sejal arrives, she is annoying from the first frame and she talks and talks and talks and all the way to the end. She’s a lawyer, but I didn’t get any lawyerly vibes from her. She has a fiance, but she wants Harry to find her sexy, attractive, lit, for Harry thinks she’s a ‘sister type’ and this makes her mad. If anything, she should’ve thanked him for there was no hope or redemption for her character. 

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And she’s right for their chemistry was forced. I had no idea if the movie and I were watching the same movie, for I didn’t see how, why, and where Harry starts to fall for this ‘sister type’. Their pairing in this movie was just not happening. SRK had more chemistry with the European ladies than Anushka. Such a shame that one of those European women were not his leading lady!

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SRK literally launched Anushka Sharma’s Bollywood career in Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi. Their pairing was beautiful to watch! They next appeared in Jab Tak Hai Jaan and although they weren’t endgame, their chemistry in this movie was also a good thing. Endgame was SRK and Katrina Kaif’s characters. 

I felt as if this movie came too late for this jodi, but they’ll have a chance to redeem their chemistry in Zero (see details after Final Notes). 

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FINAL NOTES:

^ The best thing about this movie was SRK listening to French music.

^ They should’ve called this movie “The Ring” or “Desperately Seeking the Ring”.

^ SRK does not know how to hold a woman so 90% of the time, they hold him.

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^ And stop reducing SRK to a crying mess. It does not make my heart ache and feel sorry for him, it actually makes me want to punch his face! REAL. HARD!

^ SRK does not know how to kiss (unless it’s Miss Kaif) so someone should tell him to stop attempting to kiss on screen. They are cringy. 

^ Please, Bollywood, I beg of you, stop reducing SRK to the ladies man. He’s getting down in age now; give him something suitable and relatable like his role in Dear Zindagi. SRK will be 70 and he’ll still be trying to woo young girls’ hearts. Nauseating.

^ I blame the writer for 99.9% of this mess. 

^ Final verdict: They should’ve never met. I can write a better love story for SRK. He’ll be deaf, his name would be Jai and he’ll try to win the heart of a Romanian woman. Now, that’s a challenge! 😉

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ZERO

WHY????

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I want a pocket-sized SRK, too! Oh, I think that’s EXACTLY what the producers wanted when they made SRK a dwarf for this film. 

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The gang’s all here

This film. This film. Where do I begin?

Two years or so ago, there were talks about SRK portraying a vertically challenged man in a film by Aanand L. Rai. The name of the film is called Zero and it sees SRK reunite with his leading ladies from Jab Tak Hai Jaan. I watched the trailer and I like what I see between SRK and Anushka’s characters this time around. 

Although SRK is getting all the positive feedback, I think people should look out for Anushka’s character. She’s portraying a specially-abled person named Aafia Yusufzai Bhinder. Kaif would portray herself: a movie star. And I see that SRK is back to the kissing again. Eh, Kaif can do two things better than acting anyways: kissing and dancing. This movie is said to be SRK’s most expensive thus far and while it’s giving me My Name Is Khan vibes, I think this movie is going to be HUGE and it might just be one of the biggest if not the biggest Bollywood movie of the year. Yes, that was sarcasm. I think SRK’s best days are behind him, but we’ll see.

***GIFs via Google Search

Books & Reviews 📚

Book #138: When Dimple Met Rishi

People: This book sucks socks!
Also other people: This book was the best book of the year!
Also, also other people: I was torn between giving it a 5 or a 3.
Me: I’ll make my own decision.

I read this book two months or so ago and I have to say that I am pretty disappointed with one Dimple and the plot. I’ll never stop writing honest reviews for I don’t believe in changing my opinion for anyone. I have so much to say that this might get a little lengthy.

Oohkay, let me warm up first.

Flex my fingers, adjust my computer screen, grab my coffee… Ready!

Purple and Orange Flower Girl Wedding Card

I went into this book neutral because YA rarely lives up to the hype no matter how many Book-tubers swear by the book (I’ve unsubscribed to all of their channels for they almost always have the same boring and repetitive content). I came out hating this book. Dimple was just an awful character although I liked her for the first few pages. She was a nerd and she wanted to pursue her dreams, but then she met Rishi, and in the blink of an eye, her entire character changed quicker than a chameleon changes its skin. 

She was irritating and annoying that I wanted to reach into the book and slap her silly. 

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As for Rishi, he comes from money, but he doesn’t act like it. He’s humble and obedient to his parents even when they set him up to attend Insomnia Con (kind of a party name for a tech convention don’t you think!) to court Dimple. As a matter of fact, Dimple and Rishi’s parents tricked their kids into attending the convention (although Dimple really wanted to go) so they can meet. 

Rishi draws comics and he’s great at it, but he’s keen on following his parents’ dream of him having a great future in business (I think). I love the fact that Rishi was so comfortable with his uncoolness, he was the coolest person in the room. 

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Now, let’s rant in notes as I tear the book apart.

^ I did not get a sense of San Francisco besides the fog named Karl. Yes, the fog in San Fran is called Karl and the author did a great job of reminding us. However, I did not feel transported to San Fran as I did when I read James Patterson’s Women’s Murder Club series. 

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^ I think the author should’ve translated Hindi phrases for non-Hindi readers. I understood some of it for I used to learn Hindi at one point. 

^ An obnoxious group of well-manicured people – a white girl and boy, and an Indian boy – were already trying to take pictures of one another. (Page 65) What? You mean to tell me that black people don’t live and study in San Fran?  I thought it was unnecessary to point out the color of people’s skin for it did nothing here. I would’ve gotten it had Rishi never seen white people in his life, but for some reason, it just doesn’t work here.

^ “This is how it works in the US: In the spring we’re constantly subjected to bunnies and eggs wherever we go, signifying Christ’s resurrection. Then right around October we begin to see pine trees and nativity scenes and laughing fat white men everywhere.” (Page 142). Now, this does not offend me in any way for Easter is a pagan festival and Christmas does not signify Christ’s true birth. However, I think this paragraph was meant to be religiously controversial as Rishi said at the end that he gets to explain Hinduism. Author, stop being so foolish. If a Christian were to go to India now, they’ll be assaulted with Hinduism iconography. If the so-call Christian images are assaulting your senses, pack your bags and leave America for good. 

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^ So Dimple attends a party and drags Goody Two Shoes Rishi along with her. I can’t believe that the author wants me to believe that someone like Dimple who scorns people and social life like the plague attends parties. Just no! It doesn’t work. On the other hand, I can believe that Rishi has never been to a party before besides Diwali ones. 

^ Cue unnecessary dramatic exit: He turned and walked away, the fog swallowing him whole. (Page 353). 

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^ Where is the coding talk? The tech talk? The app talk? The whole point of Dimple attending Insomnia Con was to create a health app to help people and there was hardly any talk of it. This book was pure drivel. 

^ I am going to sound stereotypical, but this scene calls for it: Which respectful Indian boy or girl would be making out in a dark alley and when things get heated, the girl asks, “What? You mean here? We can’t do it here?” and “If you’re doing this because of some old-school concern for my ‘honor’, you don’t need to.” (Page 287). Nice going, Dimple. Really nice going. I can think of all the names in the book to call you, but then, that wouldn’t honor you, would it now?

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^ Insomnia Con is having a talent contest and Dimple wants to do a Bollywood dance. They started off with ‘Dil Na Diya’, but ended up dancing to ‘Dance Pe Chance’ from Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi

I was relieved when I came to the last page of this garbage. It would’ve been interesting to know more about the app and Dimple’s competitors’ apps as well. This story went from its focus on creating an app to a pointless talent show. With all of the ‘careful’ preparations leading up to the show, you’ll think the author would dedicate more than just a paragraph to it (Page 308). I wanted Dimple and Rishi to lose the talent show, but of course, they won for they danced to a SRK song after all. 

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This book was a total mess and you know what else is? Jab Harry Met Sejal and I am contemplating on doing a review soon. The author said that she was inspired by Bollywood movies and she passed for most Bollywood movies are a mess. This writing was cringe to the max.

The author forgot to thank Shah Rukh Khan in the acknowledgments and this book put me off so much that I don’t think From Twinkle, With Love would be redeeming… but I’mma read it anyway.

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COVER

Probably one of the most natural covers I’ve ever seen! I love that the model isn’t airbrushed and you can see all the hairs on her face. 5/5.

VERDICT:

love coffee

*** GIFs and photos used are not mine unless stated otherwise. Credit goes to Google Search. 

Books & Reviews 📚

Books #125-127: major disappointments👎

It’s been a while since I’ve done book reviews! I’ve been in a reading slump since June despite reading around the World Cup. It’s kind of hard for me to not read. I like being surrounded by books and it’s been fun watching my TBR go down in the past few months.

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Let’s get to those 3 books I plan on reviewing today.

Book #125: Hidden Order by Brad Thor

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This is the 12th book in the Scot Harvath series. I recall saying that this book was a 3/5 during my 3rd haul for the year and it most certainly was when I started reading it, but I won’t call this book a thriller and when I finally came to the end I had to deduct a coffee so it’s 2/5.

The book was too ‘talky’. We got a history lesson in the Federal Reserve, CIA, and Economics. I didn’t ask for thorough historical details. In one breath the author talks about the conspiracies surrounding these so-call organizations and in the next breath, he contradicts himself by calling ‘truthers’ crazy. Make up yer mind, man!

Thor takes stories from headlines and tosses his characters right in the middle of it. At times it read like a scene from the Mission: Impossible movies, but without the non-stop action.

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Five names appear on a secret list. They’re kidnapped and start showing up dead and Scot is hired to find these kidnapped people. Scot runs the investigation without even asking or trying to figure out who had access to the list. Some agent, but it’s okay for not everyone can be Ethan Hunt. And I can’t warm up to Scot Harvath. Scot is so much into Scot he’s making Cristiano Ronaldo look like a saint. Thor needs to watch Ethan Hunt for inspiration and learn how to keep his protagonist likable so we can root for him and not roll our eyes everytime his ego checks in and he’s in luck for Fallout is in theaters now. 

Book #126: Abby Spencer Goes to Bollywood by Varsha Bajaj

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Why? Why was this book released?

This book targets Middle Graders. I was excited to read it because I love reading books that feature India, but it tortured me and I had to give it 2/5

Annoying 13-year-old Abby discovers that her father is a Bollywood star. Oh, excuse me, according to page 85: “is the King of Bollywood!” Shah Rukh Khan wouldn’t like that for he thinks he’s the greatest gift to women. 😆I’ll pass, though. 

But back to the book. The plot was boring and the characters weren’t too colorful themselves. Abby Tara Spencer doesn’t know her father, but when she comes into the discovery that her father is Naveen Kumar and Bollywood’s biggest movie star, her life takes a dramatic turn. Naveen finds out about her and invites her to spend time with him in Mumbai so he can get to know his daughter better. 

Almost everytime Naveen’s name is mentioned, it’s followed by the adjective “shirtless”. Abby is only 13 and is concerned about her Bollywood hunky dad being shirtless most of the time. It got quite annoying to the point where I wondered if the author had wished to have a hot shirtless Bollywood actor as a father or was Shah Rukh Khan actually Naveen in her mind?

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After reading this book, I still had no idea what the author’s purpose was for writing it. My sisters read it before me and they too were underwhelmed. Knew I should’ve watched Kuch Kuch Hota Hai for the 10th time or so and skip this book!

Book #127: The Reluctant Matchmaker by Shobhan Bantwal

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This might get lengthy for I have so much to say about this book. In every book I’ve read about Indian women, the main goal is for her to find the IIH (Ideal Indian Husband) despite age, despite her beauty, despite her future goals, and this same plot follows Meena, a 31-year-old Indian-American whose native tongue is Konkani (how beautiful!). Meena works in marketing and her job is to make Rathnaya (yes, that’s the name of the company) look good. This book was so boring and offensive in some areas that I can’t believe the great reviews it got on some sites. 

The characters are boring, the writing is okay, but the story is mediocre. And the fat shaming being sprinkled around like parmesan cheese on pasta as early as page 3: If only Pinky ate a few less candy bars, she’d be attractive. 

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And I am only getting started. Meena is a short irritating idiotic woman. She is judgemental and her mind is set on material things. Her brothers act like 7 year-olds instead of their age. Then we have the tall love interest: enter Prajay, the rich idiot who co-owns the company Meena works at. He’s looking for a wife, but he only dates women over six feet. I can’t make this up even if I tried. He enlists Meena’s help to find him a datable giant babe from an online dating site because he needed a woman’s point of view. For what? The grocery list? As co-founder of Rathnaya, Prajay comes across as unintelligent and I lose a point of IQ every time he speaks.

This book is so superficial. There are subtle remarks from one’s height to skin color and class. It was also RAMMED with every imaginable Indian cliché:

* The obsession with fair skin.

* Why Hindus shouldn’t marry outside of faith (particularly Muslim).

* Arranged marriages and talk of it.

* Blaming of the American culture for influencing their children when the parents chose to migrate there and birth them. 

Parents value of sons over daughters.

There was no need for half of those topics for the author didn’t really do anything with them. All the author did was stereotype. 

There is zero chemistry between the main characters. Meena fell in lust with Prajay and was pinning over him since accidentally bumping into him on their first encounter. She even made advances on him, but he just wasn’t feeling the shorty. There are hardly interactions on their behalf and yet, she thinks he’s the one? Give. Me. A. Break! That’s not love at all. The last chapter was a HUGE cringe. Whenever Prajay called Meena ‘baby’ the endearing term felt forced. Should’ve tried calling her ‘stupid’ for it definitely would’ve worked. My final verdict for this wannabe Bollywood mess is 1/5.

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Books & Reviews 📚

Reading Diaries: Covers/Titles I dislike

Dear Diary,

You know I don’t judge, but that’s exactly what I’m going to be doing today: judging… books by its covers.

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Yeah, that’s what they said, but there’s some book covers out there that sometimes make me pause and think: Will the story be any better than the cover? Is the story even related to the cover? What even is this cover?

Let the judging begin!

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My Boyfriend is a Bear by Pamela Ribon

When I first saw this cover, I questioned many things about the intimacy of it and wondered if this was the new Beauty & the Beast and the acceptance of bestiality, so I read a bit of what’s it about:

Nora has bad luck with men. When she meets an (actual) bear on a hike in the Los Angeles hills, he turns out to be the best romantic partner she’s ever had! He’s considerate, he’s sweet, he takes care of her. But he’s a bear, and winning over her friends and family is difficult. Not to mention he has to hibernate all winter. Can true love conquer all?

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I was also quite surprised with all the raving positive glowing entertaining reviews. How can it be funny, sweet, sincere, quirky, beautiful and all of that lovely jazz? From what I understand, Nora is having a relationship with a 500-pound wild beast because all of mankind is terrible. Did she ever stop to think that maybe she is the one making all the wrong decisions? That there are still good guys out there? She just had to fall in love with a bear and bring him home.

Right. And my boyfriend is a crazy psychopathic host call Chris McLean, but it doesn’t mean I want to take him home and play house with him.

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Someone is gonna die in that relationship and it ain’t me. *clears throat* Oh, I mean, someone is going to die in that bestiality relationship and it ain’t the bear. If there’s a sequel in which the bear eats the lunatic, good for the beast. And if you were to tell me that I am reading too much into the cover and it’s actually a sweet and warm story, I’ll call you a liar for I read a reviewer’s account of the heavily implied bestiality relationship and she had to stop reading the book when she came across “he literally spat into my…” Yep, Nora is talking about her lady part. 

I rather read about someone’s account of finding true love with Jesus. Books like these shouldn’t see the light of day. I can tolerate cheesy YA and boring romances, but I can’t get on the bestiality wagon. I don’t care if it’s for the open-minded, no one should be open to having sexual relationships or attractions to animals. That’s just wrong. 

I think it would’ve been better had the bear been an actual man in a bear suit. It doesn’t make it right, but at least, it would’ve been a man instead of an animal. 

A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Mass

Amazon, please stop recommending this author to me for I don’t want to buy her books. I don’t like magic, fantasy or fairytales for that matter and I don’t want to read this dark looking book! Man, I just don’t understand the appeal of this author. She’s like J.K. Rowling 2.0 popping up everywhere. I don’t like this cover… and all other covers from this author for that matter. 

Thirteen Reasons Why

Another book Amazon has been dangling in front of me for a while. Here’s the thing, many readers love the book, and that’s fine, but I don’t think I’ll read it. On the surface, it sounds like suicide glorification.

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I won’t ever read this book – or watch the show for that matter – and I dislike when people keep shoving this book in my face encouraging me to read it. I figure if I do read it, I’ll be listing 13 Reasons Why I Hate This Book and I don’t want to walk down that route. I don’t want to be insensitive when it comes to handling suicide, but the book and the show seem to handle the situation quite differently. Apparently, the girl is a saint and she blames everyone, but herself for committing suicide. The bottom line I take away from this story base on what I’ve read concerning reviews and the plot: if you’re having problems, it’s fine to kill yourself. How can the girl be a hero when she takes her life, huh? HUH?

The Way You Make Me Feel by Maurene Goo

The book is about a prankster taking a joke too far one day causing her father to sentence her to spend her summer working on his food truck and some boy name Hamlet has a crush on her and she’s probably going to like him back in the end, and this is the best cover that publishing came up because…? I’ve come to realize that Korean YAs tend to have the least interesting covers out there. I’ll skip this story and take Michael Jackson’s contribution instead for he was the first thing that came to mind when I saw the title.

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The first time I saw this video, let it be known that I was impressed with his stalking behavior. He went from being stalked in “Billie Jean” to being the actual stalker in TWYMMF. 

My So-Called Bollywood Life by Nisha Sharma

I don’t like this cover a latte and I think the font is boring, but I’ll be reading this book once I get my hands on a copy.

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Over to you: Have you ever judged a book by its cover? 

Entertainment

Befikre: I dare you… to watch this stupid movie

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I sat down to watch this movie with my sister last evening and I wish I could get my 2 hours plus back. The movie was… well, I took notes. 😦

^ Befikre means ‘carefree.

^ Kissing, kissing, and more couples kissing.

^ Traces of Mission: Impossible 3. That car scene.

^ The jokes about 9/11 and terrorism was distasteful given that Paris is still reeling from the terrorist attacks.

^ More kissing. *rolls eyes* since when Bollywood became Kissywood?

^ Dharam (Ranveer Singh) and Shyra (Vaani Kapoor) were too childish and kept daring each other to do stupid things like slapping a policeman and making out in a car. They defaced property: The Pont des Arts bridge by placing a padlock there when the French had them remove because it was weighing down the bridge. So was taking clothes off and remaining in undergarments in the library for a silly dance number.

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^ Traces of Chalte Chalte.

^ Is Vaani’s face permanently smiling? for I’m kind of creeped out.

^ Oh, look, traces of Jab Tak Hai Jaan!

^ The best thing about this movie? The beautiful Parisian sights.

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^ More Shah Rukh Khan reference. *sighs*

^ I like this Vaani Kapoor, though. She’s a Kareena Kapoor upgrade and she can act and dance, too.

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^ This movie is Love Aaj Kal 2.0 the sequel… and not in a good way.

French girl: You like French music?

Dahram: I like French girls who likes French music.

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^ More kissing. Too much kissing.

^ This movie abused kissing.

^ If this is the future of Yash Raj films, then I won’t be watching another movie from this production house.

^ I think this movie spent too much time touring the pretty sights of Paris, that they lost sight of the plot and weakened the storyline, which they didn’t have in the first place.

Banker: “I’m a banker, so I know a good investment when I see one.”

^ Eiffel Tower proposal. So cliché!

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^ I don’t understand women. They get a man (banker in this instance) to treat them right, yet they cling onto the ex who never had future plans of them together because it was all about hooking up and no love.

^ Best song? None. Wait, that… no, none.

^ Too much partying. We get it. Nobody parties like an Indian… at least in the movies.

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^ Too many gay jokes. Stereotypically annoying. I’ve heard and read enough over the years.

^ Anay is so nice. I hate that they used this banker to further stereotype nice people. There are actually nice people out here. Not every nice person is mad or have a hidden agenda.

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^ Dancing with the Stars cannot compete with the competition that is Bollywood… well, Vaani and Ranveer. This brings me to Mr. & Mrs. Smith reference. 

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^ I don’t know what’s worse: The French American culture clash bashing or the French Indian culture clash bashing. 

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^ Anay turned into Salman Khan at the church, but I thought the fights were unnecessary and in poor taste.

^ Great! More French kissing! Just what we asked for!

^ Thank goodness the torture is over! I want my life back.

VERDICT Gavel-clipart-clipart-kid

rating-blog… Bless those beautiful Parisian sights because that is all this movie had going for it.

*** GIFS & photos via Google Search