Book #25: Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man

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Author: Steve Harvey
Publisher: HarperCollins (January 27th, 2009)
Pages: 232
Chapters: 15

BLURB:

Steve Harvey, the host of the nationally syndicated Steve Harvey Morning Show, can’t count the number of impressive women he’s met over the years, whether it’s through the “Strawberry Letters” segment of his program or while on tour for his comedy shows. These are women who can run a small business, keep a household with three kids in tiptop shape, and chair a church group all at the same time. Yet when it comes to relationships, they can’t figure out what makes men tick. Why? According to Steve it’s because they’re asking other women for advice when no one but another man can tell them how to find and keep a man. In Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, Steve lets women inside the mindset of a man and sheds lights on concepts and questions such as:

—The Ninety Day Rule: Ford requires it of its employees. Should you require it of your man?

—How to spot a mama’s boy and what if anything you can do about it.

—When to introduce the kids. And what to read into the first interaction between your date and your kids.

—The five questions every woman should ask a man to determine how serious he is.

— And more…

Sometimes funny, sometimes direct, but always truthful, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man is a book you must read if you want to understand how men think when it comes to relationships.

*YAWNS*

review

…REVIEW!

Sit down. This is going to be a bit long.

This is a book that I’ll never go for. People around me were raving about it and insist that I must read it. It landed on my desk at a time when I had nothing to read. 

I’m sorry I even went past the cover. I don’t like reading relationship books, this was my first one outside of the Bible, and I couldn’t even make it to the last page.

Steve might have some things partially right, but this book was over-hyped and reduced to a gender stereotype. This book basically tells us that men are responsible for our happiness, we’re to blame when we don’t understand them and we should be thankful for/to them.

The book title might be a good one, but it is one-sided and a hot mess. Steve doesn’t hold men in contempt of their behavior. For me, he came across as insecure and controlling. A classic example is Steve throwing a childish tantrum when his wife, Majorie went scuba diving … Just because he wasn’t able to “protect” her! Pffftt! What a lame excuse! The thing that his wife loves the most (her sense of adventure) he took it away from her. That is not compromising. Like, grow a pair and learn to scuba dive with the wife too, Steve. Your methods of “protecting” is unhealthy!

Steve says he doesn’t know a single man who hasn’t cheated on his wife. What kind of friends do you hang out with, man?

This book in a nutshell: women don’t have the right to think like a woman. Steve assumes that ALL men are running games on women. That alone tells me the kind of view he has on people. Men are perfect. We are the ones who are struggling to attain that level of perfection because we can’t get on that level without thinking like a man.

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I admit that men are fascinating creatures, but let’s be realistic here: Steve is black and he is giving black men a bad name. Although he insists knowing what ALL men like/dislike, ‘WE’ do not cover ‘EVERY’ single man on the face of this planet. The Frenchman is different from the American man in many ways. The Caribbean man is nothing like the European man. Even the Middle Eastern men won’t easily fit into the ‘we’ category. I am a lover of heels and yes, some men do compliment me in my heels from time to time, but who is Mr. Harvey to say that ALL men prefer a heels-wearing woman? Some men like seeing women in flats or even a pair of sneakers.

This book is written from a sexiest’s point of view.

What Steve Harvey wants, not what ALL men want…

In Part 1: The Mindset of a Man, Steve states that men are simple. Oh, they are? So why is it when some of them get older, they get more complicated as they go through their so-call mid-life crisis? Oh right, it’s the woman’s fault. And about bragging rights? Steve, newsflash, not ALL men care about being number 1 and there are actually women out here who care about being number 1. You know? The independent success hungry driven ones? Not all women want a grand peacock. Some women are content with the loving man that they have, even if he isn’t mega successful, has a flashy car or a big old house to show for his achievements.

Excuses are made throughout this book.

“And if you’re her man and that woman loves you – I mean really loves you? – she will shine you up when you’re dusty, encourage you when you’re down, defend you even though she’s not so sure you were right, and hang on to your every word, even when you’re not saying anything worth listening to.” (page 19)

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Yes Steve, because we’re stupid lap dogs. Steve says a woman should listen to basically any and everything that comes out of a man’s mouth, but then he turns around and says that men don’t have time to listen to any and everything that comes out of a woman’s mouth. A relationship works both ways, honey. If I have to hang onto every word out of my man’s mouth and nod along like I’m some useless trophy girlfriend/wife, then that man is going to listen to me when I want to talk about a bad day at the office.

He then proceeds to enlighten us on why men cheat:

“A man can love his wife, his children, his home, and the life that they’ve all built together, and have an incredible physical connection to her, and still get some from another woman without a second thought about it, because the actual act with the other woman meant nothing to him. It was something that may have made him feel good physically, but emotionally, his heart – the professing, proving, and protecting he saves for the woman he loves – may be at home with his woman.” (Page 98)

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Come on! What even is this? Why isn’t he talking about infidelity bringing STDs into the marriage bed? Some of these affairs do mean something to many men otherwise they wouldn’t have a regular mistress to get served from. Steve, get off your high and mighty horse and stop smoking that crack. You wrote this book for the cold success-hungry driven black man who simply lives life through black-and-white lenses.

Steve touches on the 90-day rule. For a man who is supposed to be holier-than-art-thou, he is saying that women should give up the “cookie” on the 90th day of their relationship. What a sanctimonious bastard! No wonder why black love is in trouble! You’re supposed to be a “Christian”, yet you condone this action just because men lack self-control and must have “the cookie”. 

He manages to contradict himself several times. He expects a woman to stay home and do housewife stuff – taking care of the children blah blah blah – preferring the man to provide, yet, this two-tongued sanctimonious bastard turns around and says that men like women who are independent and don’t “reach in his pockets” and that both the husband and the wife should work to make ends meet. MAKE UP YER SIMPLE NARROWED MIND!

I honestly don’t understand how this book received so many so-call great reviews. Steve should realize that not all men out there are living in the cavemen age. There are men out here who knows how to communicate his feelings and thoughts. If Steve can’t do that, that is his business. Married couples are equal partners and guess what Steve? COMMUNICATION IS THE GREATEST KEY!!!! This sexist book only “proves” that men are simple-minded and this is an insult to many men out there. Who is a man married thrice to give us relationship advice anyway? Could have easily fooled me, Steve. You sound like a control freak with issues.

Maybe he should have named his book ‘Women, Blame Yourselves, Not Men: Why Women are at Fault for Misunderstanding Men When It Comes to Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment’. Maybe he should have written about teaching men how to be better. This is not the 1950’s anymore, Steve. If a woman was to truly think like a lady and act like a man, the tables would turn and sweet beautiful chaos will ensue. 

I am not a relationship expert, nor do I claim to be one, but men and women, just be your wonderful selves. Know who you are inside-out and know what you stand for and believe in and you’ll be alright in the long run. Act like a lady and think like a smart one. This book is an excuse written for men who want to get away with bloody murder by blaming their imperfections on women. Save your time and read the Bible instead. It’s the best book when it comes to relationship advice.

Not all women are not silly, pathetic, desperate and helpless damsels when it comes to men.

Here’s some advice for you, Steve, leave the writing for experts on relationship issues. You just stick to hosting Family Feud. This book:

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VERDICT:

No steaming coffee

NEXT UP:

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Escoffier: The King of Chefs by Kenneth James

#WritersLifeIGJune Days 20-22 catch up

DAY 20: Classic Books

DAY 21: Book Covers

Some of my favorite covers…

I love the first cover of the interracial pair lying on the sand. The book was also good. Nick Carter’s book cover was stripped down to show that his story was serious and I love the smashed lollipop on the ‘Big Little Lies’ cover although it was a disappointment. As for the Lee Child book, I won’t read it, but it’s obvious why I love the cover.

DAY 22: Shelfie

I am working on my bookshelf right now, here’s hoping it would look like this when I’m through:

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Image via Google Search

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Book #24: I’ve Got Your Number

Author: Sophie Kinsella
Publisher: Dell (February 14th, 2012)
Pages: 448

BLURB:

I’ve lost it. 😦 The only thing in the world I wasn’t supposed to lose. My engagement ring. It’s been in Magnus’s family for three generations. And now the very same day his parents are coming, I’ve lost it. The very same day! Do not hyperventilate, Poppy. Stay positive 🙂 !!

Poppy Wyatt has never felt luckier. She is about to marry her ideal man, Magnus Tavish, but in one afternoon her “happily ever after” begins to fall apart. Not only has she lost her engagement ring in a hotel fire drill but in the panic that follows, her phone is stolen. As she paces shakily around the lobby, she spots an abandoned phone in a trash can. Finders keepers! Now she can leave a number for the hotel to contact her when they find her ring. Perfect!

Well, perfect except that the phone’s owner, businessman Sam Roxton, doesn’t agree. He wants his phone back and doesn’t appreciate Poppy reading his messages and wading into his personal life.

What ensues is a hilarious and unpredictable turn of events as Poppy and Sam increasingly upend each other’s lives through emails and text messages. As Poppy juggles wedding preparations, mysterious phone calls, and hiding her left hand from Magnus and his parents . . . she soon realizes that she is in for the biggest surprise of her life.

review

…REVIEW!

UNPUTDOWNABLE!

I’ve read Confessions of a Shopaholic. It was basically my introduction to Sophie Kinsella, but I did not go back for seconds of the series. However, ‘I’ve Got Your Number’ was everything I’ve imagined it to be.  It was quite a funny read.

Okay, let’s see how I can do this without being Wikipedia. 🙂 

At the beginning of the story, we’re introduced to Poppy Wyatt, who just lost her engagement ring. And it’s not just any ring, it’s a family heirloom. A series of unfortunate incidents follow the newly engaged woman with most of them ending in mishaps. Thank God it was not me! I would have been too mortified to show my face in public ever again!

The lead up to the recovery of the ring was funnily embarrassing.

Poppy’s phone is stolen by a mugger, she discovers a phone in a bin and claims it, but here’s the twist: the phone belongs to Sam Roxton’s former PA. Hard to disagree with Poppy: ‘if it’s in a bin it’s public property’ although I’ve never found something valuable in a trashcan before… not that I go looking into trashcans! Poppy just can’t stop doing things that would make a hole volunteer to swallow her up. She’s constantly meddling in Sam’s life by reading his e-mails and because of this, she thinks she knows him. At one point, Poppy responded to an e-mail she thought was from Sam’s dad.

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via Google Search

I want to quote my favorite line – yes, line – of the book: ‘Mind your own Brazilian!’ I cracked up.

Okay, it’s not as funny as it sounded when I first read it. >.<

Poppy is a riot, a lovable hoot and I sort of identify with her in my mad love quest for unique characters – Dr. Spencer Reid is still #1. Sam. I liked Sam a lot. Sure, he seemed off-putting, cold and unfriendly, but I liked him more than Magnus Tavish. I met David, one of Sam’s friend, and I’m sorry, but despite his insecure life, I liked him as well. Did not like e-mail Willow and when I met her, I despised her more. I felt as if I was right there with Poppy. I was there when she was frantically searching for the ring, when she desperately wanted to prove herself at Scrabble and when she shimmied her way into Sam’s life.

The ending was weepingly sweet.

I loved everything about the book. The only annoying thing was the footnotes. I understand that the footnotes play a big role in the creative process, but I do not want to read annoying footnotes unless it’s in a history textbook.

VERDICT:

5

I don’t like recommending books because I don’t like forcing books on people, but I’ll actually recommend this book.

NEXT UP:

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Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man by Steve Harvey. Wish me luck in actually reading this book. >.<

Book #23: Love Script

Author: Tiffany Ashley
Publisher: Circle 1 Publishing, LLC (2011)
Pages: 270

BLURB: 

Determined to land a huge advertising account for his company, Nick gets a LITTLE carried away and tells the potential client he’s married, then he has a serious problem—he can’t join the client on the ship unless he shows up with the wife he’s supposed to be taking on an anniversary cruise.

Laney Parks is either in the wrong place at the wrong time, or the right place at the right time-She isn’t sure which. She isn’t even entirely certain of how she got roped into posing as her hunky boss’s wife. She finds it SERIOUSLY unnerving, though, to ‘stick to the script’ when that includes cuddling up and kissing in public, and even more unnerving to share the close confines of the cabin – and its single bed – with him.

review

…REVIEW!

Actually, I want to talk about the contents of this book.

So, you may notice that I didn’t include a photo of the cover. That’s because I didn’t like it. I am game to read any material (even if it’s just once), but I don’t know what to make of this book. I admire interracial love stories, but there are not many good ones out there. Or maybe I am looking in all the wrong places? 

I first read this book in 2012 from a friend of mine, but I was swamped with work, studies and other reading material at the time that I read it half way. Recently, I was on the hunt for Interracial Romance novels and I remembered this one my friend loan to me, so I’ve decided to ask her to borrow it once again.

I wish I hadn’t bothered.

From the cover, I knew it was going to be a steamy book and although somewhere along the line I was irritated at Nick, the story line, the plot, the characters, the scenery, everything was well written and the only typo I found was on page 146 (‘she’ instead of ‘the’). Yes, well written, but it isn’t going to stop me from asking about the runaway plot which actually made me want to read the book in the first place.

Legend has it that I am still looking for it.

Nick treated Laney like a sex object (“Laney, give me what I want freely, or else I’ll be forced to take from you.”). What? He treated her like nothing, yet, Laney couldn’t wait to jump into his arms because of some sort of attraction in the air? The dude might be a hot number, but he’s rapey!

The body might be saying okay, but if the mind is not on par with the body, then it is not okay to be taking advantage of someone. Seriously, it is one thing to have a sexy alpha male, and another to have a dominating forceful rapey male who was either threatening to rape or was helping himself (Somehow, he would have to convince Laney she wanted it just as badly as he did). I don’t care if this is the author’s fantasy, it was not romantic. 

At the climax of the story, I didn’t like when he kicked down Laney’s door and stormed in on Danny when he was trying to comfort Laney, and that’s when Nick decided that his new job was a police officer and proceeded to interrogate both Laney and Danny, asking them if they were sleeping together blah blah blah. Just when I thought Nick couldn’t get any lower, he went and did it:

“I’m a selfish bastard, Laney. I don’t share my toy.” 

AND!

“I love you, Nick.”

“Thank God. I was prepared to pay you to marry me.”

Erm, excuse me? Didn’t you hear the man refer to you as a toy?

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Those jokes were not funny and it just implied what Nick would ALWAYS see Laney as in their “relationship”: an attractive arm piece.

The point is, Nick said/did incredibly hurtful things to Laney, and she stupidly kept coming back and like Olivier Twist begging, “Please, sir, I want some more.” He treated Laney like a discarded toy throughout the story and she let him. Aren’t strong heroines out there anymore? You know, the ones who won’t let men treat them like dirt and who would mean it when they firmly say no? I am not buying the ending of the story either. There was an attraction on their part, but not love. Nick was probably the most annoying and arrogant male protagonist I’ve come across. He was constantly horny, intimidating and I stress, RAPEY!

Another thing I dislike was the repetition about Danny’s sexuality. We got it from the moment it was established that Danny was gay. There was no need to be rude throughout the book in repeating his sexual orientation. The unnecessary rambling of the author sometimes drove me up a wall.

Good plot but the author missed it.

The ending implied that there could/might be a follow-up. I won’t be reading it. Had this book been mine, I know exactly what I would have done with it after reading:

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VERDICT:

canstock18820718…had the so-call alpha male not come across like a creepy rapey jerk! Sexual assault is not sexy. This author can write, but I doubt I might be reading anything from her again.

NEXT UP:

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I’ve Got Your Number by Sophie Kinsella

Book #22: Dead Ringer

Although the story started off a bit slow it ended with a bang. I am glad I did not abandon it after the first few chapters.

Scott Corbin was executed by lethal injection after five years on death row for serial killings, so how can Sarah Hill believe that the Chameleon was back? The killings have picked up where they left off and Sarah swears she saw Corbin walking the streets.

The characters are believable, Scott Corbin had me rooting for him, the action was non-stop, but the ending? Man, what a twist to end all events! I did not see this coming! I did not anticipate the ending and I loved it!

Some readers may find it gruesome so let me just warn you: IT IS NOT FOR THE FAINT HEARTED.

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This what a true example of what a real page turner is. I needed this after the underwhelming stories I’ve last read.

VERDICT:

5

I don’t like recommending books, but if you’re a thriller/suspense fan looking for a compelling page turner and you don’t mind that it came out in the year 2002, then this one is for you.

NEXT UP:

Image result for gif michael jackson reading

I don’t know as yet. I hope it’s good.

World’s best-selling author teams up with a former President to write a thriller.

I am talking about James Patterson and former US President, Bill Clinton. Yes, they’ve teamed up to write a thriller that sounds like a winner, The President Is Missing.

Image via nytimes.com

The details of the plot are not currently known, but the publishers say the book will be “informed by details that only a President can know.”

This is Clinton’s first novel and it will be released by Alfred A Knopf and Hachette in June 2018. 

Book #21: Big Girl

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BLURB:

In this heartfelt and incisive new novel, Danielle Steel celebrates the virtues of unconventional beauty while exploring deeply resonant issues of weight, self-image, sisterhood, and family.

A chubby little girl with blond hair, blue eyes, and ordinary looks, Victoria Dawson has always felt out of place in her family, especially in body-conscious L.A. Her father, Jim, is tall and slender, and her mother, Christina, is a fine-boned, dark-haired beauty. Both are self-centered, outspoken, and disappointed by their daughter’s looks. When Victoria is six, she sees a photograph of Queen Victoria, and her father has always said she looks just like her. After the birth of Victoria’s perfect younger sister, Gracie, her father liked to refer to his firstborn as “our tester cake.” With Gracie, everyone agreed that Jim and Christina got it right.

While her parents and sister can eat anything and not gain an ounce, Victoria must watch everything she eats, as well as endure her father’s belittling comments about her body and see her academic achievements go unacknowledged. Ice cream and oversized helpings of all the wrong foods give her comfort, but only briefly. The one thing she knows is that she has to get away from home, and after college in Chicago, she moves to New York City.

Landing her dream job as a high school teacher, Victoria loves working with her students and wages war on her weight at the gym. Despite tension with her parents, Victoria remains close to her sister. And though they couldn’t be more different in looks, they love each other unconditionally. But regardless of her accomplishments, Victoria’s parents know just what to say to bring her down. She will always be her father’s “big girl,” and her mother’s constant disapproval is equally unkind.

When Grace announces her engagement to a man who is an exact replica of their narcissistic father, Victoria worries about her sister’s future happiness, and with no man of her own, she feels like a failure once again. As the wedding draws near, a chance encounter, an act of stunning betrayal, and a family confrontation lead to a turning point.

Behind Victoria is a lifetime of hurt and neglect she has tried to forget, and even ice cream can no longer dull the pain. Ahead is a challenge and a risk: to accept herself as she is, celebrate it, and claim the victories she has fought so hard for and deserves. Big girl or not, she is terrific and discovers that herself.

review

…REVIEW!

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I’ve never read any material by Danielle Steel until Big Girl. I chose this book because the topic sounded promising. 

Steel wrote the story passively, meaning she doesn’t show it, she tells it – something most readers and authors consider the cardinal sin. If you’re not a fan of storytelling, then this book isn’t for you. It was frustrating to read.

Steele missed an opportunity to go all out with this out. Big Girl could’ve driven home a fantastic message on how to celebrate you and accept yourself for who you are regardless of size and beauty. It had the promise to be something spectacular, but it, unfortunately, fell flat. Body image is an issue that is prevalent in our society and it isn’t going away anytime soon. I think the author could’ve taken the subject and make it relatable to females.

The story was also redundant and it didn’t help that the author kept reminding the reader what happened in the last chapters concerning Victoria. It was not empowering at all given that Victoria’s motivated desire was to lose weight and find a man. What about loving herself first? How the heck you gone love someone if you can’t love yourself? She fails to stand up to her cruel family, but she finally comes to accept herself when she gets a nose job?

Well, like I said, it was my first DS book and although it was not done justice, I am open to suggestions.

So, any DS fans out there, leave your comments and suggestions for me.

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VERDICT:

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NEXT UP:

Image result for gif michael jackson reading

I’m not too sure as yet. It’s a book that a friend wants me to read.