Entertainment

Jab Harry Met Sejal: Cue every awkward sound in the world! 🦗

I didn’t schedule anything for the blog today, but I was going through drafts and came across a half finish movie review, so I’ll be completing it today! 😄

“Everyone loves a holiday, but holidays don’t last forever.” Harry

WARNING: If you like, love, adore, or even worship SRK, then you better look away. Now. I said, now!

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What would’ve taken me one sitting to watch a 2-hour movie took me a week. It was probably the first movie of SRK’s that I cringed throughout. In this movie, SRK is a tourist guide currently working in Amsterdam. His name is Harry and he’s a lonely man because he’s a “cheap womanizer”.

Harry drops a family off at the airport and here is where Miss Sejal comes in: she’s a member of the same family, but she can’t leave with them for she lost her engagement ring and she wants Harry to help her find it. 

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What could’ve been a funny-while-finding-oneself movie ends up being quite the opposite when Sejal leads the tour guide on a goose chase around Europe in search of an engagement ring when it was right in her bag all along. Bakwas! This movie was like forcing myself to finish a bad book. I enjoyed the European sights, but the dialogue was so cringy, it made the movie messier

Here is the unbelievable logic of this movie: Sejal has been carrying around a bag since the beginning of the movie and she does not look in it until she and Harry are kidnapped. What does she look in the bag for? Antiseptic to clean Harry’s wounds. She empties the contents of her handbag and THERE, nestled in the bag was the ring all along. Are you telling me that as a woman she just carried the bag around Europe as arm decoration? Wouldn’t a woman turn her bag inside-out once she discovers that her engagement ring is missing? Had she done this at the very beginning of the movie, then this movie wouldn’t have seen the light of day so the writer had to prolong it.

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Live scenes of me during JHMS

I’ve noticed that in some Bollywood movies where the white women are concerned, the Indian woman tends to feel threatened (especially if the woman in question is French) and it happened in this one also. The Indian woman would look at the white woman in disdain as she questions her Indian beau “How is she better than me? What do you see in her?” Sejal pulled this card on Harry… while still engaged to the faceless fiancé. Harry stupidly tells her that she is, in fact, better than Nastassia, the ex, and she is over the moon. Like, how does Sejal know this? She doesn’t even know Nas and it was plain to see that Nas was prettier than Sejal when it came down to looks. I think writers do this on purpose to sell the exotic beauty of the Indian woman which is unnecessary for Indian women are beautiful without trying. 

As for character development, there was none. Let’s start with Harry.

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More live scenes of me during JHMS

Harry is a womanizing travel guide. This was established early on in the movie. However, he comes off as a pervert. To be fair, SRK’s so-call romancing skills are actual perverted stalking skills, but who’s calling him out for it, eh? The ladies love him and they want him to stalk them. Him speaking German was lit, though! There’s a scene where Harry gets a flashback of his hometown in Punjab and he starts crying… then breaks into the most annoying song of the film ‘Radha’. Why do you hate me so much, Bollywood?

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When Sejal arrives, she is annoying from the first frame and she talks and talks and talks and all the way to the end. She’s a lawyer, but I didn’t get any lawyerly vibes from her. She has a fiance, but she wants Harry to find her sexy, attractive, lit, for Harry thinks she’s a ‘sister type’ and this makes her mad. If anything, she should’ve thanked him for there was no hope or redemption for her character. 

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And she’s right for their chemistry was forced. I had no idea if the movie and I were watching the same movie, for I didn’t see how, why, and where Harry starts to fall for this ‘sister type’. Their pairing in this movie was just not happening. SRK had more chemistry with the European ladies than Anushka. Such a shame that one of those European women were not his leading lady!

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SRK literally launched Anushka Sharma’s Bollywood career in Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi. Their pairing was beautiful to watch! They next appeared in Jab Tak Hai Jaan and although they weren’t endgame, their chemistry in this movie was also a good thing. Endgame was SRK and Katrina Kaif’s characters. 

I felt as if this movie came too late for this jodi, but they’ll have a chance to redeem their chemistry in Zero (see details after Final Notes). 

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FINAL NOTES:

^ The best thing about this movie was SRK listening to French music.

^ They should’ve called this movie “The Ring” or “Desperately Seeking the Ring”.

^ SRK does not know how to hold a woman so 90% of the time, they hold him.

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^ And stop reducing SRK to a crying mess. It does not make my heart ache and feel sorry for him, it actually makes me want to punch his face! REAL. HARD!

^ SRK does not know how to kiss (unless it’s Miss Kaif) so someone should tell him to stop attempting to kiss on screen. They are cringy. 

^ Please, Bollywood, I beg of you, stop reducing SRK to the ladies man. He’s getting down in age now; give him something suitable and relatable like his role in Dear Zindagi. SRK will be 70 and he’ll still be trying to woo young girls’ hearts. Nauseating.

^ I blame the writer for 99.9% of this mess. 

^ Final verdict: They should’ve never met. I can write a better love story for SRK. He’ll be deaf, his name would be Jai and he’ll try to win the heart of a Romanian woman. Now, that’s a challenge! 😉

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ZERO

WHY????

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I want a pocket-sized SRK, too! Oh, I think that’s EXACTLY what the producers wanted when they made SRK a dwarf for this film. 

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The gang’s all here

This film. This film. Where do I begin?

Two years or so ago, there were talks about SRK portraying a vertically challenged man in a film by Aanand L. Rai. The name of the film is called Zero and it sees SRK reunite with his leading ladies from Jab Tak Hai Jaan. I watched the trailer and I like what I see between SRK and Anushka’s characters this time around. 

Although SRK is getting all the positive feedback, I think people should look out for Anushka’s character. She’s portraying a specially-abled person named Aafia Yusufzai Bhinder. Kaif would portray herself: a movie star. And I see that SRK is back to the kissing again. Eh, Kaif can do two things better than acting anyways: kissing and dancing. This movie is said to be SRK’s most expensive thus far and while it’s giving me My Name Is Khan vibes, I think this movie is going to be HUGE and it might just be one of the biggest if not the biggest Bollywood movie of the year. Yes, that was sarcasm. I think SRK’s best days are behind him, but we’ll see.

***GIFs via Google Search